Letters From A Faraway Land
by puzzypower
Summary: HIATUS! Best friends since they were toddlers, Bella has been in love with Jasper since puberty. He has never known. Now he has joined the air force and Bella has to build her own life in college. Will Edward help her find her path? Starts E/B, later J/B
1. Chapter 1

**Letters from a faraway land**

**Ch.1**

"Excuse me, do you know where the cafeteria is?"

I look up from the sight of my scuffed converse shoes at the sound of the velvety soft, slightly trembling, but oh-so-deep voice, only to face the most amazing pair of sparkling green eyes, hidden beneath a wild head of penny-colored hair and a pair of black-rimmed glasses. The bottom of my stomach goes out, and I am lost in those eyes for what seems like hours. Shit, he asked me something, didn't he? I try to regain my senses and remember his question.

"Sure, if you'll follow me? I was just heading in that direction anyway."

"Thanks – my name is Edward, by the way"

"Bella", I reply – he is the first person I've talked to since coming to U-dub almost a week ago, if you disregard the barista at Starbucks and the lady at the cash register in Wal-Mart. Pathetic little me, running as fast as I could away from Forks, my dad, and the memories of Jasper – and now I find myself in a strange campus, in a strange, big city, where I don't know a soul.

He is all sorts of beautiful, this young man next to me. Not only his eyes, his unusual hair, his 'geek-glasses' (oh, did I have a soft spot for geeks) and his black converse shoes. No, he has a tall, lean build, but with clear muscle definition – yeah, I peeked! So what? He towers over me being at least 6'3'' over my 5'4'', but not in a threatening way. I clearly get the vibe that he is just as much of a lost soul as I am. Equally quiet, but in a comfortable, non-committing way, as if he would give you all the answers, if you would just ask the right questions. He seems to be my age – around 18 or 19. Either a freshman or a sophomore, but I lean towards freshman, since he has to ask directions around campus. He intrigues me, this one. He is clearly at ease with himself, even if he is a stranger in a strange town. He seems timid, but on the other hand, he isn't afraid to approach a total stranger (even though I am petite – how much damage could I do?), though he seems to be hiding beneath his glasses, his slightly slumped shoulders and his quietness as well as the tremor in his voice, when he approached me. I wonder all sorts of things about him; does he have a girlfriend? Did he just move here? What is he studying? What dorm does he live in? Would he like to have lunch with me?

"Sure, thanks for asking!"

Wait, did I say that out loud? I immediately turn beet red – I can feel it building from my chest to the tips of my ears – oh shit, I don't ask strangers to eat with me! That's not me – shy, timid, beet-red-Bella… But maybe he is just being nice – yeah, that's it. I was kind enough to show him to the cafeteria, so he is just being polite, and since he doesn't know anyone here, and all…

"Why are you blushing? Although it's a lovely sight, there no need to be embarrassed. I would love to sit down and eat with a beautiful girl"

"Beautiful? Who's beautiful? And you don't have to – it just slipped out, sorry"

"I would like to – I just moved here yesterday, and I don't know anyone here yet –beside from you. I would love to get to know you." Now he is the one blushing. That makes me curious. What did this handsome boy have to blush about? But never the less, I am happy to get that little tidbit of information. I would really like to become friends with someone here, and Edward is really nice.

Soon we reach the cafeteria doors, and he opens the door for me, while guiding me inside with a timid hand on my lower back. I feel the heat of his hand through my thin, old band t-shirt – one of Jasper's that I'd swiped without him looking, when he was packing on his last day in his old room.

Jasper… Oh Jasper, how could you be so blind? Did you never realize that you were so much more to me than a best friend? That you always meant so much more than I lead you to believe? Even if I dated that vile Mike Newton – that was just because you dated Alice Brandon! I had to have someone, when you were so oblivious. And then, after the hell of a break-up you and Alice had, you decided to join the army, of all things! I cannot for the life of me understand why you had to be so dramatic. You said it yourself – you didn't even like her that much! She was just a willing body (mediocre at best) and a date for high school dances! Even if you didn't tell me about that until after the break-up. Figures. If I'd had known how little she meant to you, I would have…. Nah, I was and am too much of a wuss to do anything. Your friendship meant and still means too much to me to risk it by making unwanted advances.

And now I stand here, inside the cafeteria with the most gorgeous young man I've ever seen, waiting in line with a plastic tray. He's really cute, this Edward boy… I mean, really, REALLY cute. If Angela could see him, she would be giggling and bouncing in her seat – but alas, Angela is going to Colombia, so she's sitting in an airplane on her way to NYC right now. But I'll make sure to spill the beans when she has her Skype set up. Even Jasper's got nothing on Edward in the looks department – equally as tall and well-built, but with this geeky-gorgeous aura that just sucks you in, like gravity. Oh, that twinkle in his green eyes – it's killing me, even from a distance. After picking out the items he wants from the buffet and making sure that I take something for myself, he starts to pay. Frantically I stop him; "I can pay for my own food, thank you". He just looks at me, startled, and says "No way, consider it your guiding fee". I begrudgingly accept, and follow him to an empty table on the window side of the large cafeteria. He pulls out my chair for me – ever the gentleman, it seems, and I graciously accept. He chooses to sit across from me and starts to open his milk carton. He even uses a glass, instead of drinking directly from the small carton – his momma must have taught him well, I muse within myself. Picking up my pizza slice, I almost choke when I hear his soft voice asking me where I live.

"Uhm, Hagett Hall. I haven't got a roommate yet, but I'm sure she'll arrive soon enough", I answer. I sit for a second with my pizza halfway between my plate and my mouth, before I ask "You?"

"McMahon. My roommate arrived yesterday as well. He seems like a nice guy – not too rowdy. Yet... The rest of the cluster is half-filled, but I'm sure they will trickle in the rest of the week" he answers between two bites of mac n cheese.

"Cluster?" I ask, confusedly.

"Yeah, McMahon has a cluster system of rooms. Each 3 or 4 rooms share a bathroom and a common room, thus referred to as a cluster. At least, you only have to share the bathroom with maximum 7 others, as opposed to an entire floor"

Huh, I contemplate. Should have known that, when I applied for housing. On the other hand, I've gotten a free-ride scholarship, so I guess I should be happy that my college savings only will have to cover pocket money and food. "That sounds really nice".

"We'll see," he answers "I'm not much of a social butterfly, so I can only hope that it's going to be a decent group. I'm not into the whole 'party hard and fuck your way through college' thing, so I can only hope that I'm not going to end up with a bunch of jocks. That wouldn't be very conductive for concentrating on my studies"

Ooooh, could he get much more perfect? Beautiful, charming, a gentleman, not a man-whore, and serious about his studies! I wonder what he's going to study. Maybe we are going to share some classes! It would be really great to have a friendly face here.

"What are you studying?" I ask him, in the hope that we will at least share some classes.

"English lit." He answers.

After hearing that response, my jaw kind of drops. Which is not very charming, while you're eating pizza, I might add. "Really?" I manage to squeak out, while looking at him dumbfounded.

"Yep," he says "I've always wanted to be a writer, or perhaps a teacher, so it's the natural choice."

Well slap me silly, Sally – I guess he could get even more perfect. The probability of sharing classes just went up by a 100%. I might even get a study partner out of this.

"Me too; English lit that is. I've wanted to be an editor since I was a little girl, and somehow I always ended up editing essays for my friends in school. I love it. It's like being a midwife, without all the blood and gore"

He bursts out laughing at this, almost spraying me with milk. He laughs so hard he gets tears in his eyes and his ears go all red. I just sit there, wishing my stupid brain-filter wasn't broken. A midwife, what kind of analogy was that! And he keeps laughing, like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. I slump down in my chair, cheeks burning with embarrassment and avert my eyes from the beautiful laughing boy in front of me.

"I'm sorry," he says between giggles, after he's quieted down some "you surprised me, is all. In my honest opinion it's really beautiful, the way you look at editing. A writer wouldn't live up to his or hers full potential without a great editor"

I feel my cheeks burning, while the corners of my mouth turn up by his sweet apology. He could get away with murder, if he unleashed that crooked smile. I can't stay mad at him, even if he embarrassed me terribly a moment ago. And I'd really like to get to know him better, in spite of him laughing at me.

We are both finished with our lunch and start to clear our trash from the table. As the gentleman he is, he takes my tray as well as his own, and again he guides me to the door with a gentle hand on my back. Outside the cafeteria doors, he stops and looks down on me with a brilliant smile and an indecipherable glint in those green eyes of his. I can't help but be consumed by his stare. There's something in the way he looks at me – a certain gentleness that comforts me, even if I don't even know his last name. There's something that tells me that this guy would never, ever hurt me – that he would do anything to make me feel comfortable and safe. I feel like I'm drowning in his eyes, but in a good way. - No, in a great way, actually. Butterflies start to swirl in my stomach and my throat goes dry. After an immeasurable amount of time; seconds, minutes or hours, I'm not sure; he clears his throat and looks down on his shoes. The tips of his ears are glowing and he has a faint blush on his high cheekbones.

"Thank you for showing me here and for eating lunch with me, Bella. I would really like it if I could see you again sometime?" he says, making it sound like a question.

Wait, was this like a date? Did I just have a lunch date without realizing it? I don't know how to respond, so I remain silent for a few seconds, meanwhile Edward seems to get embarrassed and a little restless. He starts to fidget with his hands, pulling on the strings of his hoody and scoffing his shoe on the sidewalk. He reminds me of a little boy right now, uncertain and uncomfortable. Oh what the heck. I did just think about how lovely it would be with a friend or a study partner, so what do I have to lose? Absolutely nothing, that's what! Take a chance, Bella! He seems like a really nice guy. And he gives you butterflies in your stomach – something you haven't felt since Jasper left.

"Sure," I say, shrugging my shoulder "I'd like that." His head whips up so fast I'm afraid he'll get whiplash.

"Really?" he asks, with a disbelieving expression on his beautiful face.

"Yeah, you seem like a sweet guy, and I could use a friend" I say, while looking him directly in the eyes – "who knows, we might have some classes together as well, and it would be really nice to have someone to study with."

He looks a little disheartened by my response, and I get the sense that this wasn't exactly the answer he was looking for, but it's the best I can give him right now. My feelings are too raw for me to jump head first into the dating pool, but I really like him, and would love to get to know him better. This way, expectations won't be too high, and if he's the right kind of guy, he won't mind. We exchange cell numbers at the doors and part ways with a smile; though his is a little sad. It doesn't occur to me before that night while lying in my bed in my lonely dorm room, that I might be doing the same thing I did with Jasper all over again; banishing a guy in the friend category, and then falling for him. Essentially setting myself up for heartbreak. Damn!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! You've all been so kind with favoriting and alerting this little diddy! And thank you for the reviews! It's so nice to hear your thoughts!**

**With that - enjoy the next chapter!**

- LFAFL -

Ch.2

The following morning I awake to a god-awful noise. A cacophony of something that sounds like boxes thumping against the floor, kitchenware rattling down the stairs, a fire alarm and a high-pitched shrilling voice squealing, is the only way to describe it. I begrudgingly open my eyes, only to be met with a sight of PINK everywhere. Apparently, I have now gotten a roommate. And what a roommate – she doesn't stand still very long, but when she does I get the impression of a petite, dark haired, pink-dressed whirlwind. After rubbing the sleep from my eyes and clearing my throat, I get her attention.

"Hi, I'm Rebecca, but you can call me Beck – everybody else does. What's your name?" she asks.

"Bella" I answer, still somewhat groggy from the abrupt wake-up.

"We are gonna be sooooo great friends, I can feel it!" she exclaims – she reminds me a bit of Alice. Same chipper demeanor, positive attitude and fast movements. She seems nice enough, but maybe a little exhausting… I don't do well with chipper and fast all the time – one of the main reasons that Alice and I never became great friends (aside from the obvious, she had the man I wanted). But with Beck, I don't have to feel jealous, so that's speaks in her favor.

After climbing out of bed and pulling together my bathroom kit, a change of clothes and a towel, I bid her welcome before disappearing down the hall to the bathroom. I stand under the spray of luke-warm water, trying to wake myself up and getting ready to face the day. My thoughts immediately turn towards Edward. His sparkling eyes have haunted my dreams tonight, and since my late night epiphany, I have decided to not repeat my mistakes – I will try to let myself believe that this gorgeous creature actually could have a romantic interest in little 'ole me. I know that this will require quite a lot of courage on my part – having to put myself out there and taking a risk. But on the other hand – Jasper is far away now. He writes me letters and e-mails, but he still thinks of me as his BFF, not a love interest. I didn't dare take the risk with him, and that landed me absolutely nowhere. Last I heard he was stationed on a flight school, since he joined the air-force, and wants to be a pilot. Talk about opportunities wasted.

Edward gives me the same kind of butterflies in my stomach as Jasper does, and I feel warm and happy when I think of him – and he is right here! Not thousands of miles away. Plus, he seemed disappointed when I only offered a platonic relationship yesterday. This could certainly be worth exploring. And it doesn't hurt that he is completely beautiful, charming, a gentleman and un-promiscuous.

Finishing up in the shower, brushing my teeth and combing my hair, I contemplate sending Edward a text, asking if we can meet up for lunch again. After I've dressed I reach a decision. I will casually text him and ask about his plans for the day, and see how he responds. I just hope that I didn't turn him completely off yesterday! But if I have, I'll just have to live with that and enjoy having a friend on campus. When I reach my room again, it looks more or less like the tooth fairy, Cinderella and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol has thrown up in here. Apparently, Beck is very girly. I mean VERY girly – like, my total opposite. I stand in the doorway with my mouth hanging open and my eyes about to pop out, while I try to regain my bearings.

"Beck," I call out, "Where are you?"

"Over here," a voice answers behind the wall of moving boxes in front of the other bed, "I am just about finished with emptying my boxes". Her head pops out over the mountain of clothes heaped up on the bed.

"So, how should we do this," I ask, somewhat worried that my only sanctuary is being destroyed by the attack of the pink aliens happening here, "I mean dividing the space and stuff – I have a futon and a small coffee table, and a mini-fridge – it's all at my Dad's house in Forks, but I could bring it down this weekend, if you'd like."

"Sounds great," Beck replies, "I haven't brought any furniture – I'm from Minnesota, so I thought it would be cheaper to check Craigslist for furniture, but if you have some, I could skip that – I've brought an area rug and some throw pillows and a bean bag though." She points towards a pink monstrosity in the corner – Oh well, I'm sure it's comfortable.

I locate my phone and send Edward a text – luckily we exchanged numbers yesterday after the somewhat awkward exchange outside the cafeteria.

_**Hey – what are you doing today? –B**_

_**Nothing – just got some more cluster mates, so total chaos ensues. –E**_

_**Here too. My roommate just arrived. Would you like to eat lunch again? –B**_

_**YES! Please – when and where? –E**_

_**How about we meet in front of the cafeteria at 1? –B**_

_**Sure, that's a date! –E**_

It is? I think to myself. Well, I guess it is – I did ask him out for lunch. And he seemed very enthusiastic in his response. This might work out perfectly after all!

Beck and I use the rest of the morning organizing our things as best we can, since we haven't got any furniture yet. Charlie will be pleased to see me already – I'll drive home tomorrow to pick up my stuff. I bet he isn't expecting to see me before Thanksgiving!

My poor old red truck died last year, but Mom and Phil gave me a new one for graduation. A black Ford F150, the Harley Davidson edition – it's my pride and joy. Turns out, Phil had arranged for some of his signing fee with the Cardinals to be set aside for my college tuition, but since I earned a full scholarship, the money weren't needed, and they thought it should come to good use. I was so happy that I cried, when they surprised me with it on graduation morning. When I came out in the driveway, there it was with a red bow on it and everything.

At ten to one, I leave and start walking towards the cafeteria. Butterflies are beginning to stir in my stomach again at the thought of seeing Edward in a little while, and by what this could lead to. Nearing the doors, I spot the now familiar sight of his copper-penny hair glinting in the sun. From this distance, it looks a little like he's pacing back and forth. Hmm, someone's eager, it seems. It's a strange feeling; that the one you like seems to like you too. It's empowering and exhilarating and filled with promises. I feel like I'm floating on air, as I come closer and closer to the entrance – especially when I see his gorgeous face lighting up in a bright smile when he sees me. I can't help but smile back. Broad, toothy and happy, I feel the corners of my mouth turn up and my cheeks pinking. I must look like a fool the way I'm grinning. I almost run the last couple of steps, and he takes a few steps towards me as well. When we finally meet, we just stand there, staring into each other's eyes and smiling. It seems a little awkward, because I want so much to hug him but I don't dare, so my hands are just flopping uselessly around my hips. But his smile, that glorious, happy, crooked smile, with a perfect dimple in his cheek, leaves me warm all over – I feel it all the way down in my toes and the butterflies go CRAZY inside me.

"Hi." I breathe out, cheeks splitting.

"Hi yourself" He replies huskily. His hand reaches out and tucks a stray hair from my ponytail behind my ear. I swoon at his sweet gesture, and catch his hand with my own on the way down. I look down a little shy – he's got great hands. They are big, but with long, slender, elegant fingers; pianist's hands. He looks down as well, watching my petite hand in his large one. It looks and feels so right. He takes it a step further; intertwining his fingers with mine, and brings them to his mouth to leave a small kiss on my knuckles. I look up at the gesture, and see his eyes alight with happiness and a mischievous twinkle. I notice that his irises are specked with gold. They are a light jade color – it looks almost unnatural, but oh so happy right now.

"What made you change your mind?" He asks, "I mean this is a date, right?" His ears are pinking slightly, like he's unsure of my intentions and a little embarrassed to ask.

"It is, and I just had an epiphany, is all." I reply. "I don't want to miss out on something that could be beautiful, just to play it safe."

He smiles at me so adoringly at that answer, as if I just made his world a better place. It's so surreal – all of a sudden things are going really fast, and I become dizzy at the speed my world is moving on its axis. I met Edward only yesterday and it already feels like we are declaring ourselves! I start to hyperventilate, and sit down on the edge of an elevated flowerbed by the entrance. He follows me, still holding my hand tightly, however, now he looks worried and anxious.

"Bella, Sweetie, what's wrong? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine – I just need a second. I felt a little dizzy there for a spell."

"Breathe through your nose, and exhale slowly – you're a little pale."

I sit for a minute, closing my eyes and letting the warmth of his hand and the soothing way he is rubbing my back calm me. I start talking with my eyes closed, "I'm just overwhelmed, that's all. In the span of a week, my whole life has turned upside down. My best friend in the whole world left and joined the air force, I moved out from my childhood home, started college, have to live with a stranger, and met a wonderful guy that I seem to fall head over heels for. It's a lot to take in, you know?" I open my eyes with a start at the realization of what I just said. I told him that I am falling for him! I jerk my head towards him, anxious of his reaction to this revelation. He just smiles at me! This silly little smirk, barely lifting the corner of his mouth! But his eyes tell another story – they are positively glowing, belying the cocky smirk. He softens his look and gets a serious expression on his face. "You aren't alone, Bella. I'm falling fast as well." A tender expression lights up his features, as he continues to watch me. "You are NOT alone." With that, he kisses the back of my hand again, and I sense his soft lips linger there, while he holds me captive in his gaze.

After a minute or so, he moves to get up from his perch in front of me, and I follow. The magic of the moment is broken, but the warmth of his gaze still lingers between us. He keeps my hand in his while he asks me what the plan is for the day. I grin a little to myself as I ask him if he wants to go on a ride with me.

"Of course, where are we going?"

"Well, my roommate and I are in need of some furniture, and I left mine at my father's house until I knew what she would be bringing. We agreed to use what I have instead of buying something, and I thought we could go pick it up and have some lunch on the way. I you'd like?"

"Aha, you just want to abuse my manly strength, huh? I knew there had to be a hidden agenda to a beautiful woman asking me out for lunch." He answers, mischief lighting up his features.

"Sure, whatever else could I use a big strong man like you for?" I retort, grinning happily.

I guide him towards my dorm parking lot and click the remote door lock for the Ford, causing the blinkers to twinkle.

"Jesus, this is what you drive?" He looks surprised and delighted.

"Yes, it's my graduation present from my Mom and stepdad. It's my baby. I call him Fred."

We climb in the cab of the truck which means that he has to let go of my hand. I feel the loss of his warmth immediately and wish we could have held on a little longer. I wasn't ready to let go yet. Fortunately, he grabs my hand again as soon as he sits down in the leather seat. I start up Fred and we are on our way to Forks. Seattle traffic isn't too bad at lunchtime on a Thursday, so the drive is easy and we find ourselves on the highway in no time. I've decided to take the ferry across instead of the long way around. It means that we can have lunch on board and enjoy the view of the sound. We buy sandwiches and sodas in a small deli on the way to the ferry, and soon we sit on a bench on the open deck, huddled together, shoulder, thighs and knees touching, while eating and sharing easy conversation.

I learn a lot about Edward on this trip. He is from Chicago, has an older brother named Emmett who plays football for the Bears and who is engaged to a girl named Rosalie. His father is a doctor, his mother an interior decorator. He's never lived anywhere else, but has travelled all over the world, especially Italy. His dad is British, his mom a proud descendant of Irish immigrants, thus the red hair, fair complexion and green eyes. He's a straight A student, he enjoys music a lot – like passionately much. He wants to minor in music theory. He plays the guitar and the piano. He is a renaissance man in the truest way – enjoys arts; visual and music, literature, science and politics. He plays a little baseball, but just for fun. He strikes me as a man that rests within himself, even if he doesn't see it that way. I could very easily fall in love with him.

I also share a bit of my own background; that I am an only child by divorced parents. That my best friend is a guy, Jasper, who left to join the air force (I don't share that I love him and miss him so much that it feels like a part of me is missing), that I am quiet and don't make friends easily, that I don't drink and party, but prefer the tranquility of a library or the beach. I share that I enjoy bond fires and stargazing, Shakespeare and hiking in the forest.

He holds my hand the whole way to Forks, and he never stops watching me when I talk. His eyes hang onto my lips, like he's afraid to lose a single word I say. When he speaks, he looks out the window, like he's apprehensive of what he will see if he looks at me. He doesn't have to be – I'm smitten already, and could never tire of listening to him describing the people he loves, places he's been to and things he enjoys. I could sit in this cab forever, just listening to him and looking at him. He is beautiful, inside and out.

- LFAFL-

A/N: Review, if you'd like. I love to hear your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi everyone! As a little thank you for your massive support for my little story, I think I'll spoil you today. Just to tie you over, you all get a little greeting from our favorite guy; JASPER!**

**ENJOY! :-)**

Chapter 3

_August 21, 2010_

_My dearest Jelly-Belly…_

_First of all – I miss you like crazy. Nothing is quite the same without you right by my side. I hope you find a little time in your busy schedule to think of me too? I hope that you have settled well at the University, and that you've gotten a decent roommate. Did you get your class schedule yet? How about moving all of your stuff? I'm so sorry I couldn't help you out, but when Uncle Sam calls, you have to answer and the date was set. Sorry Babes – I know you could've used some brawn to help your brain ;-)_

_California is great – I love pilot school, even though we aren't allowed to fly yet, and it's all theory at the moment. But the other guys in my unit are a hoot to hang around. Something is always going on with them – it's like summer camp, just with somewhat grown-ups. Especially Riley and Marcus – they are the typical Cali-surfer dudes – it's all about smokin' weed and chasin' chicks around town. _

_It's a typical airbase small town – army brats galore, and the bars don't card you, unless you look like a ten year old. I imagine it's somewhat like college, fraternities and stuff – drinking your brains out on the weekends and studying hard on the weekdays._

_Have you heard from Mike or Jake since you moved? God, I hope not. Mike should keep his sorry ass as far from you as possible, if you ask me! That bastard! And Jake… What an airhead with his stupid remarks about 'women knowing their place'. I'm so disappointed in him – I really thought he was a nice guy, and we've known him like forever! But enough of the asshats, they give me the creeps just thinking about them._

_How's Angela doing – did she get to NYC okay? How is she gonna survive without Ben by her side constantly? And how about Ben? I hope he settled alright as well, at MIT. It's great to imagine the ultra-geek among peers. Always knew that guy was going places! Say hello from me, if you talk to them._

_I miss all of you guys, and even if I don't regret my choice, it would have been so much fun to share the 'college-experience' with you. I know, I know. I've always said that we would go together, but you know how I always wanted to learn how to fly, and after the Alice debacle, I really needed to start over again with new people and new places (not you Babes, you know I love your sorry ass). _

_Hugs and kisses ~_

_Your Jazz._

_-LFAFL-_

_-LFAFL-_

_To: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Thanks for your letter!_

_Date: August 28, 2010, 10:30 PM_

_My sweet Jazzy,_

_Thank you so much for your sweet letter! I miss you too. It's so strange without you. I keep turning around to tell you something, but you aren't there! I hate that._

_I'm settling in alright. I have a roommate – she's quirky, girly, sweet and funny. Her name's Rebecca, but she goes by Beck. (I know right? Sounds like a prime time crime show on TV). She's from Minnesota, so we agreed to use my furniture from home. _

_I ran into a nice guy in front of the cafeteria, who agreed to go with me and help me get it moved here. His name's Edward and he is an English-lit major, like me. We talked about being study partners, if we have some classes together. Charlie was not too rude to him, but you know the Chief. He acts all tough, and starts to oil his guns. He's never done that with you though – wonder why that is?_

_I'm going to sign off for now. It's been a grueling couple of days, and I'm beat – I never imagined it would be so hard to move out on my own…_

_Talk to you soon._

_Love ya lots!_

_~B._

_-LFAFL-_

_-LFAFL-_

_To: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Missing you!_

_Date: August 29, 2010, 5:55 AM_

_Hey, my beautiful Jelly-Belly_

_I can't believe how much I miss you! It was great to hear from you – I'm glad that you settled well and that you got a nice roomie. I just hate that I'm not there to help you out. I hate that you have to rely on someone else; because I bailed on you. I should be the one to help you drag your furniture from Forks to Seattle. Not some random stranger, you ran into in a cafeteria! Is he a nice guy? He better be – I won't hesitate to fly out and kick his ass if he acts un-gentlemanly towards you! Ya hear?_

_Right now, there's nothing I want more than to be there for you, to share your experiences and cuddle with you on your futon, watching lame chick-flicks and throwing popcorn in your hair… _

_Instead I have to endure the sight of Riley's skinny ass bobbing up and down in the cot next to me, while he's boning some stupid, whiney chick that he dragged home from The Watering Hole at 3 AM this morning. And they are STILL going at it. Maybe he should lay off the Viagra? Marcus just snores through the whole thing, and I'm not drunk enough to sleep through their combined racket._

_I gotta run now, Darlin' – reveille is sounding in a minute, and I want to get first dibs on the bathroom for once – something good has come out of the two stooges getting drunk off their asses._

_A shitload of hugs and kisses for ya!_

_Your Jazz._

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you everyone! Hope you liked to hear from Jasper. He's a sweetheart, isn't he! And is that jealousy in his e-mail? Hmm... Let's get back to our friends here and check what happens, don't you think?**

**BTW - forgot this before: SM owns all things Twilight. All hail the great SM. I own nothing but my own imagination.**

Chapter 4

Monday morning… I hate Mondays. I hate Mondays with a passion! But today, today is different. Today is the first day of my college career. At 10 AM I am going to my very first college class. At 1 PM I am going to my second college class. You get the picture…

I lay awake in my bed and its only 7 – I have three hours to get ready, but I can't sleep anymore, I'm so excited. As I lay here, my mind starts to drift. So much happened during the weekend, most of it good things.

First of all, Edward went with me to Forks to pick up the furniture, and what a trip that was! Nothing more than hand-holding happened, but it was filled with promises anyway. He kept looking at me like I was the most fascinating creature in the world and he smiled at me all the time. That adorable, crooked, dimply smile! The warm feeling returned to my belly at the thought of his crinkle cornered, jade colored, sparkling eyes. He was SO cute. And he appealed to me on so many levels beside the physical. His intelligence, his wit, his interests – he was the whole package, and I couldn't wait to see him again.

After braving my father's gruff manners in an impeccable way, he dragged my furniture down the narrow staircase; maneuvered through the hallway and loaded it into the bed of my truck. Then he proceeded to take of his t-shirt before downing a glass of iced tea. That left me breathless and speechless for a couple of minutes! Damn, the boy was built. He had perfect pectorals and abs; not too much and not too skinny – just perfect. His chest had a light dusting of hair; a little darker brown than on his head and on his abdomen there was a little happy trail, leading straight to the Promised Land – YUM!

The only other male ever capable of bringing that kind of reaction forth in me was Jasper – same lean swimmers build, same muscle definition, same height – only the color scheme was different. Where Jasper was blond and tan, Edward was dark-haired and pale. But that didn't make him any less appealing to me.

On the drive home, we mostly sat in companionable silence. A few comments were made about growing up with the chief of police for a father, and a scatterbrained kindergarten teacher for a mother. We also made plans for the weekend – we would meet for a walk around campus Friday afternoon, check out the library, the coffee places, and the bookstore and grab a bite to eat. Also, we would try to figure out the fastest routes to our classes and lecture halls, so we didn't look completely lost come Monday. Very casual plans, but that was all I felt ready to commit to.

By Saturday, we agreed to meet up again for lunch and spent the afternoon hanging out in his room, watching a few movies and eating popcorn. The cluster arrangement was very cozy, and the rest of the guys seemed nice, even if they did tease poor Edward about scoring a pretty girl already. We ordered pizza with the rest of the guys for dinner, and afterwards he walked me home to my dorm. He kissed my cheek chastely and hugged me goodbye at the door. Very gentlemanly indeed.

When I opened the door, Beck immediately attacked me with a barrage of questions - all about Edward. She acted like dating and boys were the most important thing to college, and asked me to introduce her to some 'prospects', as she called it. I reluctantly agreed, and soon retreated to my bed with my laptop.

Jasper had sent me a real, hand-written letter, and I wanted to reply, even if it was only by email. I loved to receive letters, but couldn't muster the energy to do the same right now. That would have to wait until things settled down more. I sent the email, quickly telling him about the recent events, but conveniently leaving out details about Edward, and booted off, settling down to get some sleep.

By Sunday morning, Jazz had replied. He seemed a little down. Like military life wasn't as great as he initially experienced it. I thought about his wording – both letters contained affectionate greetings and goodbyes – dearest, beautiful, lots of hugs and kisses – but that was not unusual for Jasper. He is a very affectionate guy. But the tone in his email – it sounded almost jealous? I wondered about that for a while. Naw, he's just a little disillusioned and missing me. As he said, he hated to miss out on being with me. We've been attached by the hip forever – I knew how hard it was to get used to being on my own.

Shortly after I read Jasper's mail, while I was still in bed, my phone buzzed with an incoming text. It was from Edward.

**Hey Beautiful – thank you for yesterday. I had a great time! –E**

**Hey yourself – yeah, it was great! Did you want to compare schedules today? – B**

**Yes please. When are you free? –E**

**Give me half an hour to shower and dress, then I can meet you for breakfast. Is that okay? –B**

**That sounds fine. In front of the cafeteria? – E**

**Sure :-) See you then! –B**

**;-) –E**

I hurried to get ready and met Edward for breakfast. We both brought our schedules, so we could compare. Turns out, we had 4 out of 5 classes together. What a relief – now I had a serious study partner who was also a great guy to be around. After breakfast, we hit the bookstore to buy the necessary bits and pieces. Books would come tomorrow, since the syllabus hadn't been publicized for our classes yet. But notebooks, pens and pencils, binders etc. were a must for me. I wrote my essays and assignments on my laptop, but for note taking I was much more comfortable to do it the old fashioned way, as was Edward.

After lunch, we hung out in my room, laying together on my small bed and watching a movie on my laptop. Unlike Edward, I had neither the money nor the room for a 40" plasma screen in my room, so it would have to make do. It started out very innocently, holding hands. Soon though, Edward started rubbing his pinky against my side in small circles. I was hyper-aware of the movement and it sent tingles up and down my spine in the most delicious way.

After a couple of minutes, he turned his head towards me and laid his cheek on the top of my head. "Bella," he said, taking a deep breath. Was he sniffing my hair? "How do you feel about me?"

I almost choked at the unexpected question. "Well, I like you a lot Edward. Why do you ask?"

"Just because I really want to kiss you right now, and I want us to be on the same page before I do something about it." He replied, in the sweetest whisper.

"We are, Edward – we are." I replied, tilting my head up to look him in the eyes. They were the most amazing shade of green, as usual. They were clear and bright, darkening as he took in my expression.

He lowered his head towards mine, closing those beautiful eyes a split-second before my eyelids fluttered closed. I felt his warm breath on my face, his unique scent, combined of sweet mint, old leather, sandalwood and just _Edward. _I felt his warm, soft, pouty lips meet mine with a gentle pressure, tentatively moving with mine, picking up on my cues. Oh God! It was the most delicious feeling. Our lips moved together, in sync, when suddenly I felt his part slightly, and his soft, wet tongue met the seam of my lips. Probing, softly licking, and asking for more. I willingly complied, opening my mouth to meet his tongue with mine. He tasted just as wonderful as his scent.

I could feel his hands at my waist. His large, elegant hands splayed around me, almost meeting on either side. While our mouths connected, they wandered tentatively upwards, ghosting my ribs, meeting the underside of my breasts.

My breath caught at the welcomed sensation, and I could feel my nipples hardening, almost painfully. It was such a turn-on. He was careful not to take it too far, keeping it sweet but passionate none the less. I was aching for more, while at the same time enjoying just _feeling_ him. No rushing or fumbling, no pressure to take it further than I was comfortable with. And I was very comfortable with this. In fact, I could keep on kissing him all night.

Unfortunately for me, he soon broke the kiss, panting, placing small kisses on the corner of my mouth. He opened his eyes and smiled at me - again with the breathtaking, crooked smile. The corners of his eyes were crinkling adorably. I returned his smile with an equally happy one. In that moment, I felt truly happy, cared for, protected and adored. Edward was quickly weaseling his way into my heart, and for right now, that was exactly how I wanted it.

We stopped the make-out session there and watched the rest of the movie, though I'm sure he was paying it as little attention as I was. I was lost in thought, enjoying the emotions he brought out in me, and the attention I was getting from him. At the same time though, I had a gnawing ache in the back of my head. An ache called Jasper.

-LFAFL-

I am jolted out of my stupor at the sound of Beck's phone alarm going off. It's already 8 o'clock. I have to hurry now, since I most likely have to stand in queue for the bathroom forever! Damn! Oh well, since I am not a Barbie girl I am fast to get ready.

After a quick shower and grooming, I dash out the door, eager to meet up with Edward for breakfast. It is becoming a routine and I don't mind in the least. I have a happy smile on my face at the thought of being with him all day, even if it's for studying, and I really look forward to starting my education.

I see him, pacing as usual, in front of the cafeteria doors. Again, his eyes light up and he breaks out in a beautiful smile when he sees me. This time, there is no hesitation when we meet – we fall into each other's arms and hug for a long while.

"Missed you." He says sweetly, turning his head and catching my lips with his.

"Missed you too." I say after releasing his mouth. And it is true.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: First of all, I would like to thank my pre-reader for her excellent job on my story! She makes it all sparkly and pretty :-) So thank you, mommy2tw1ns!**

**Next, I will encourage you to listen to the song mentioned at the end of the chapter - just search youtube, it should be fairly easy to find. Or use this code in the adress bar: watch?v=xiLbZcsohCI. **

**The other song mentioned - try that too! It's funny and charming, and absolutely my 'good mood song'. watch?v=IHBe30LVdaA**

**Last, but certainly not least, I dedicate this chapter to my darling Bewiched - she is MY Girlie, and a strong inspiration for Angela in this story. I FLUV YOU, SWEETS!**

**SM owns, all hail the great SM. I just own my husband's ass (even if he would argue that one)**

Chapter 5

In the following weeks, I fell into a routine. It of course takes a lot of energy to start up on my studies, but I soon get the hang of it and begin to form a structure for studying, preparing essays and written assignments. The professors have warned us that we have start forming groups for our semester projects as well. Edward and I agree that we will form a group together, but we have to find two more people as well, since it's required to form groups of four people.

I'm on my way to the cafeteria – it is lunch time and Edward and I are meeting up as usual. I have just left the library, and my thoughts turn towards the one thing – well two things actually, that occupies my mind all the time lately. My two boys.

Edward… Yes, Edward is taking up a lot of my time. And he occupies my mind as well. He is still as sweet and adorable as ever and I still get warm and fuzzy when I think about him. But I am conflicted. Yeah, you guessed it – I feel guilty because I still love Jasper with all my heart.

I feel like I'm betraying the both of them, even if it's silly. Jasper doesn't have those kinds of feelings for me – he only views me as a friend, plus he's more than 1000 miles away, and if I'm lucky I get to see him at Thanksgiving!

Edward though – Edward is every girl's dream come true. He is beautiful, intelligent, sweet and caring. He is funny, quirky, adorable and last but not least; he likes me the same way that I like him! He gives me every possibility to have a real relationship, but until now I've kept it casual. If I plan to move forward from our easy friendship and flirting, and occasional make-out sessions, I'll have to be honest with myself and let Jasper go.

I just can't bring myself to do that. Jasper is undoubtedly the love of my life. He haunts my dreams at night. I look at trees, and think about his forest green eyes; so warm and full of mischief. When the sun catches in a brass door handle, I think about his dark blond curly hair. When I hear a southern accent, I dream about his husky voice singing on the porch on warm summer nights, while playing his guitar and smoking a cigarette. Oh God, I miss him so much! I feel ripped away from my other half! It's like a permanent ache in the pit of my belly. I can literally hear him singing Sublime's "Boss DJ" just to annoy me. I see myself chasing him across the moonlit lawn with a water-gun in retaliation, laughing so hard that my sides hurt. I see us rolling around on the grass after he lets me catch him, chuckling and just _being_.

I feel like I am at an impasse. I want Jasper so much it hurts. I love him so much, need him, but I don't know how to handle those emotions, when the source for them is out of my reach. And owe it to Edward to give us a chance. I want to move forward, but I don't want to give up the dream of Jasper.

I decide to Skype with Angela tonight. She's my best female friend, loyal to a fault, and the only one who knows my secret love for Jasper. She always understands, but isn't afraid to give honest advice – even if it's harsh words to digest sometimes. She has never been insensitive though, no matter what kind of ripping she's dealt out. I miss her a lot, but she decided to move out of state – she even decided to go to a separate college than her boyfriend for 3 years, Ben, because she values both of their educations so much. And she has unwavering faith in their love being strong enough to overcome the distance.

Beck is not an opportunity for soul-searching. She is the best roomie one could wish for actually, but deep she is not. It's a lot of fun to live with her, and she's always up for hanging out or checking out a party and we get along great. Her friendship is simple and uncomplicated, but she is the type of friend that you have on your Facebook and meet up with at the twenty year anniversary to reminiscence old times with. Not the type of friend you will ask to be your maid of honor at your hypothetical wedding.

I shoot off a text to Angela, hoping to set up a 'Skype-date' tonight. Fortunately Beck is not coming home before 10 PM due to some group work.

**Hey Girl, how are things in NYC? Do you have time to Skype tonite? Need to talk to you, BADLY. XOXO –B**

**Bellie-Bee! Miss ya so much, hun. Sure I do – what's up? Sounds serious. XOXO – A**

**It kind of is. Not life or death, but happiness might be on the line here. – B**

**Ooooh – tell me you met a guy, please? ;-) Gotta run, TTYL. – A**

**Something like that. Anyways, TTYL. – B**

Right after my last message, I reach the cafeteria doors and Edward. He looks at me, a little concerned.

"Is there something wrong, Bella?" he asks, trying to read my eyes.

"No, why do you ask?" I don't want to reveal to him what my issues are. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves so much better than me – an indecisive, mousy, boring little mouse. He deserves a beautiful, strong and committed woman, who knows what she wants.

"You look like something bad happened – did I do something wrong?" The concern radiates from him, and his eyes are sad.

"No, Edward. You do everything right – you are such a sweetheart." I reply, giving him the best smile I can at the moment. "I just miss my friends from home – I just set up a Skype-date with Angela tonight. I really feel like talking to her."

"Oh, okay," the relief on his face is palpable now, "I am sorry to hear that you won't be able to hang out tonight though, but it's important to keep up your friendships." Swoon – could he be much more perfect? He is always so understanding and caring. I can't help but smile at him, for real this time. I reach up on my tip-toes and give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

-LFAFL-

After dinner – which I of course ate with Edward at a little café on campus – I settle down on my bed, and open up my Skype to chat with Angela. She responds to my ping a few seconds after with a cheery "Hey Bellie-Bee!"

"Hey Girlie! You look great! New York looks good on you!"

"Thanks sweets – so do you! Is that a glow, I detect? Did you meet a guy?"

"Actually, I did," I respond with a cheek-splitting smile on my face, "His name's Edward and he is GORGEOUS."

"Uh oooh. Girlie, what about Jasper – I know you love him like crazy… Are you gonna give up on that?" She asks with a concerned expression on her pretty face.

"I still love him like crazy. But Edward makes me feel special; like I am worthy. I could fall for this guy, Sweets… I dunno what to do…" I feel sad by the thought of giving up on any of them and it shows on my face.

"What's the deal with this Edward guy? Are you dating?"

"Not per se. He went to Forks with me to pick up my furniture, and we have a lot of our meals together, and we hang out all the time. But we aren't dating – it's all very casual. We've kissed some, but nothing more. But I want so much more, Ang. I want to date him and call him my boyfriend. I could actually have sex with this guy, Sweets! And you know I am saving the V-card for when Jasper falls madly in love with me…"

"Oh Girlie, sounds like you're in a pinch here. Does he know about Jasper?"

"Yeah, somewhat. He knows that Jazz is my best friend, but doesn't know about me being in love with him. But, Angie, he seems so into me! He looks at me like I'm the center of his world. He smiles at me and kisses me, and holds my hand all the time. He is a real gentleman and never goes too far. He always pulls back before things get out of control."

"You seem to really like this guy. And you and Jazz aren't together, so you have nothing to worry about. Why not go for it? See where it leads. It might be nothing at all, or it might be the greatest love of your life. But you'll never know, if you don't try."

"But I still love Jasper. Wouldn't it be unfair to Edward? I can't go around deceiving him, Ang. That's not the kind of person I am."

"I know that! And you're not deceiving him! You're giving him a chance to prove that he could be the one for you, Bella. If it doesn't work out – if you can't get over Jasper, or if you're simply not compatible in the long run, you can at least say that you've tried! Life is all about taking chances, Girlie. Don't let your dreams hold you back from living your life."

"Thanks, Sweets. I think this is just what I needed – an objective perspective. I'll give it some thought, and see where to go from here. I love you – you are too good to me."

"Love you too, Bellie. And no, I'm exactly right for you! When are you turning gay for me?" She says with a wink. Bless her, she always knows how to lighten up the mood, and she gives the greatest advice. We continue our Skype session; updating each other on college life in our respective parts of the country and just generally catching up. I give her Jasper's regards, as he asked. After about an hour we sign off and I get ready for bed.

After crawling under my dark blue comforter, I pick up my phone to check for messages. There's only two people I want to hear from right now, and I just hope one of them have sent me a text. Well, someone did – the little icon is blinking. Actually there are two texts waiting. One from each of my boys.

_**I miss you. :-( Always. - J.**_

**Hi Sweetheart, hope you have a great night talking to your friend. I miss your company and hope to see you at breakfast tomorrow. Sleep tight! -E**

I reply to Jasper's text with a: _**Miss you too. More than you know. –B**_

I am still feeling torn. Even if what Angela said made perfect sense, I still feel like I am deceiving them both – maybe it's myself I'm deceiving.

I reply to Edward as well, thanking him and returning the sentiment. I agree to meet him and wish him a good night too. He still stirs up butterflies in my belly every time I think of him. I really need to sort myself out soon and make a decision. It's not fair to either of us to keep us in this limbo.

With that thought I settle in my bed. But the last images in my head are of honey curls, deep forest green eyes and a lazy smile.

-LFAFL—

The next evening, I am at Edwards, just hanging out and listening to music. He is very much into classical, which is so not my style, but I give it a listen because I want to learn as much as I can about him. We are sitting close on the bed, with our backs against the wall and holding hands. It's all very chaste, which suits me fine right now. My head and my heart is still in an inner turmoil and I am as indecisive as ever.

"Bella?" He says, looking apprehensively at me.

"Mmmm."

"You know that you told me your best friend is a guy? Jasper or something like that?" This definitely brings me out of my stupor.

"Yeah?" I respond, my entire body tensed up. Does he suspect something?

"I haven't told you yet, but my best friend is also of the opposite sex. Her name is Tanya." Okay, where is he going with this?

"She's coming up for a visit this weekend, and I just wanted to let you know. She's a very sweet person, and very affectionate, so I don't want you to get the wrong impression, you know?" He seems a little troubled by the admission; like he's afraid that I would get jealous. I sense that there's more behind this story, but I don't feel like probing.

"I've had bad experiences with that in the past – my former girlfriend, Kate, she flipped out and accused me of cheating with Tanya. I just want to make sure that you understand that she and I are nothing beyond friends and never have been. I'm sure that you, being best friends with a guy, understand that it is indeed possible?"

Hmmm – did I now? I was the walking, talking example of the non-existence of platonic love between the sexes, but I couldn't tell Edward that. "Sure I do. Nothing to worry about Edward – I understand, and I'll get out of your hair this weekend, so you two can catch up."

"No, no – I want you to meet her! She's really sweet, and I'd like it if you could become friends. She means a lot to me, and so do you. I'd love the two most important women in my life to get along." Whoa, whoa – am I one of the most important women in his life? I feel a little trapped. I'm nowhere near that level of commitment. Could it be that we are not on the exact same page after all? Maybe not even the same chapter! Damn…

Not long after, I excuse myself stating that I'm beat. We kiss goodbye at his door, but somehow I don't get as much into it as usual. It feels like Edward is retreating a bit as well – maybe I'm reading too much into it, but again he seemed a little disappointed in my reaction during his revelation. Shit, I am really messing everything up.

When I come home, I open my laptop and check my email. Again, there is one from Jasper waiting for me. This time it comes with an attachment; a recording of himself playing and singing. And not just any song, but a song he KNOWS is one of my all-time favorites and he also knows it never fails to make me cry. The song is Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah", but in Jasper's slightly rough, but still smooth, southern drawl.

I load it into my phone, setting it as his ringtone. When I settle under the covers, I wonder how it is that from halfway down the continent; he still knows exactly what I need. I wonder what that means, him sending me that song – especially considering the lyrics. I wonder how I'm going to get myself out of this mess without anyone getting hurt. And I cry silent tears of heartache and frustration, while I drift off to sleep.

**Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, so we've got to hear a little from Jasper again - why did he send her that song? Wonder what's going through his mind.. Hmmm..**

**As alway, thank you to my pre-readers!**

**SM owns - all hail the great SM. I own nothing, except my imagination.**

Chapter 6

_To: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_Subject: A little sum 'thin'_

_Date: September 10, 2010, 09:55 PM_

_My sweet Jelly-Belly,_

_Tonight, I was tinkering around on my guitar while I sat and sulked over how much I miss you. The more I played, the more I wished you were here with me. I couldn't help but play 'Hallelujah' to myself, and next thing I knew, the guys pestered me for a decent version. I recorded and enclosed it for you, to remind you that even if we're well over a thousand miles apart, I'm always there with you - at least in spirit._

_I keep thinking about you. What you're doing, who you're with, are you happy? I never suspected to be so preoccupied with you once we were apart. I always took our easy friendship for granted – there's a lot of truth in that saying "You never know what you have until it's gone". Even if it's only physical distance, it's too much for me. I want you around all the time, like you used to be. You're my best friend, Bella. The one person who knows all there is to know about me. I never fully appreciated that before, I think… It's addictive to have someone so close that you neither can nor will keep any secrets from them._

_But now I'll have to make my confessions through writing. It can be very cathartic, I learned. This testimony of sorts, only I have an 'edit' option ;-) But I try not to edit too much. I want you to still know me. For you to ground me, when my flight gets too fancy, so to speak. You always did that for me, and I found out that I really need that. You're the peas to my carrots, Babes! :-D Sorry for the Forrest Gump reference, but you know how I love that movie!_

_I'll have a long weekend coming up soon, before we're scheduled to start flying for real and not just in simulators. I am trying to arrange for coming home – will you be able to come home for that weekend too? I really want to spend some time with you! Hanging out, playing guitar, watching lame ass movies from the 90's! Otherwise I'll have to crash your dorm room at U-Dub. Would you want to risk getting kicked out for that? *LOL* _

_I hope you enjoy the song – I couldn't help myself. I included the lyrics for you at the bottom. _

_Let me know what's going on in your life. I've heard so little from you so far. I understand that you're really busy of course, but I really need to get connected to your life again, Darlin'. You are so important to me._

_Love, hugs and smooches – _

_Your Jazz._

_**"Hallelujah", as performed by Jeff Buckley**_

Well I heard there was a secret chord  
>that David played and it pleased the Lord<br>But you don't really care for music, do you?  
>Well it goes like this:<br>The fourth, the fifth,  
>The minor fall and the major lift<br>The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
>You saw her bathing on the roof<br>Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
>She tied you to her kitchen chair<br>She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
>And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah<p>

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Baby I've been here before  
>I've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)<br>I used to live alone before I knew you  
>And I've seen your flag on the marble arch<br>and love is not a victory march  
>It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah<p>

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

there was a time when you let me know  
>What's really going on below<br>But now you never show that to me, do you?  
>But remember when I moved in you<br>And the holy dove was moving too  
>And every breath we drew was Hallelujah<p>

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Maybe there's a God above  
>all I've ever learned from love<br>Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
>And it's not a cry that you hear at night<br>It's not somebody who's seen the light  
>It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah<p>

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...  
>Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...<br>Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah  
>Hallelujah, hallelujah<p>

_Love – J.D.W._

_-LFAFL-_

_To: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Sum 'thin', sum 'thin'_

_Date: September 11, 2010, 8:30 PM_

_Hi Jizzper ;-)_

_You're a DICK! You know my love/hate relationship with that song. You know I bawl like a baby when I hear it! And it doesn't make the least bit better to hear in YOUR voice, when I already miss ya that much! _

_Naw, thank you for that – It's your designated ringtone now, so don't call me when I'm in public. People might think it odd that I cry when you call me. *LOL* I really miss your guitar playing and your singing, and just you being YOU._

_My life right now is fairly chaotic. But it's getting better after school started and everything is beginning to fall into a routine. Beck and I are getting closer – she's funny to live with and we've become great friends. It's not a deep friendship, but she is nice and funny to hang out with. My classes are great and I'm quickly getting the hang of it. It's not too hard - apparently, Forks High gives you sound basis for your further studies, believe it or not! _

_I miss you. I know, we say it all the time, but that doesn't make it any less true. My day, my life, isn't complete when you're not near. I sound so sappy, but it's the truth. You're such an integral part of me. Of course I'll go home for that weekend- but if you somehow can arrange it, I would love to show you around on campus! I would love to have a little piece of you here with me all the time – a memory of you in 'my' world. Can you do that? I would also risk expulsion for having you sleep in my room – no questions asked!_

_I also think that we should do something FUN while you're here. You have this uncanny ability to make me enjoy myself so much more than usual, an ability to put me at ease where I normally would be insecure. What do you say? Will you take me for a walk on the wild side? I need you to balance me out as well! Where I ground you, you lift me up and make me a braver person. You're the cream in my coffee, Hun… You know, I even listened to 'Boss DJ' the other day, because I missed your teasing so much? Dammit…_

_Sounds sooo exciting that you're gonna get airborne! Wish it was me – though with my clumsiness we'd probably end up meeting the ground too soon and too hard. I'm sure you'll do great – you've always been a master of all things mechanical! Just promise me that you won't fall down and kill yourself, okay? And send me a picture! I still haven't seen you in uniform, you gorgeous beast. I bet you're breaking hearts right and left._

_I'm gonna run now, I have a class soon – but I just wanna thank you again for the song and thank you for your email! I love to hear from you – please keep writing!_

_Love ya lots! –_

_Your Jelly-Belly._

_-LFAFL-_

_To: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_Subject: A little sum 'thin'_

_Date: September 11, 2010, 10:45 PM_

_Sweet Jelly-Belly,_

_Thank you for your email, Babes – It was a joy to hear from you, and to get a thorough response! I feel much more in tune with you now, even if I still need to hold you, touch you, FEEL you. No, you perv, not like that! ;-)_

_I'd really love to see campus and your dorm! I'll make sure to take as early a flight as possible on the Friday, so I can spend the night with you – then maybe we could take Fred and drive home sometime Saturday afternoon? Have dinner with my parents and spend the night, before taking lunch with your dad Sunday? I'll catch the late flight to San Diego from Seattle Sunday night, so we have time to drive back with no rush. Sound like a plan? Let me know what you think._

_I'm glad you liked the song – I've included another one for you this time. Good 'ole Goo Goo Dolls; Iris. I think that song says so much about you and I – I think you'll agree. At least it's a great song! I couldn't help it, my fingers started playing, and I had to follow along._

_The guys are acting up again – this time, they pulled a real high-school prank. They covered the toilet with cling film and put down the lid, so people wouldn't notice before sitting down. Yuck! It was a real disgusting mess, but they got caught, so guess who had to clean it up? Serves them right – Idiots! But at least of the entertaining kind – a lot like Eric and Tyler, I guess. _

_On that rather disgusting end note, I'll go to bed. Reveille is at 6 AM, so I better catch some shut-eye. I hope to hear from you again soon!_

_Love and Smooches, _

_Your Jazz._

"**IRIS", by Goo Goo Dolls:**

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
>Cause I know that you feel me somehow<br>You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
>And I don't want to go home right now<em>

_And all I can taste is this moment_  
><em>And all I can breathe is your life<em>  
><em>Cause sooner or later it's over<em>  
><em>I just don't want to miss you tonight<em>

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
><em>Cause I don't think that they'd understand<em>  
><em>When everything's made to be broken<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_  
><em>Or the moment of truth in your lies<em>  
><em>When everything seems like the movies<em>  
><em>Yeah you bleed just to know your alive<em>

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
><em>Cause I don't think that they'd understand<em>  
><em>When everything's made to be broken<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_I don't want the world to see me_  
><em>Cause I don't think that they'd understand<em>  
><em>When everything's made to be broken<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_I just want you to know who I am_  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_Love - J.D.W._

**Review, please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: First of all, thank you to all of you to sticking with my story! It really means a lot to me.**

**Second, a huge ass thanks to my lovely pre-readers, Mommy2Tw1ns and Bewiched - Girls, without you this wouldn't be anything but a huge mess!**

**Third, All of you Jasper shippers will love this, I promise! **

**Fourth, I don't own, SM does. All hail the great SM. I just molest her characters. Multiple times.**

Chapter 7

Late Friday afternoon found me and Edward waiting at Sea-Tac for Tanya's flight to arrive. I am a little nervous, to be honest. I don't know what to expect from this meeting. If she's anything like me, she'll be ready to cut me for stealing her man –and Edward is all giddy and jittery beside me, pacing the floor and checking the boards continuously for her flight number.

Suddenly, he jumps in the air, grabs my hand and takes off running towards the announced gate – I guess her flight was announced. Struggling to keep up, I fail to realize that he stopped dead in his tracks, thus I bump into his back, nearly sending us both crashing to the floor. He is counterweighted though, by a petite girl with a flash of strawberry colored hair. That's currently all I can see of her, since her entire frame is wrapped around Edward, and she has her face pressed into his neck, sobbing and laughing at the same time.

I stand aside a little awkward by their exchange. They seem like reunited lovers, especially Tanya, but Edward's eyes are shimmering too and he is whispering in her ear, while guiding her to stand on her own two feet again. He never let's go of my hand though, and now he is holding both of our hands. He drags me forward and introduces me.

"Tanya, I would like you to meet Bella – she was the first person I befriended here, and she means a lot to me." She looks at me with cold eyes and a fake smile on her lips.

"How do you do, Bella? How very nice it is to make your acquaintance." She has a clear, bell-like voice, but the words are overly formal and lack any kind of warmth. It is very obvious that she does not want me to be here. Actually, she doesn't want me within 10 miles of Edward, if you judge by her demeanor right now. Phew, this is going to be a looooong weekend!

"I'm fine, thank you; and likewise." I grab her outstretched hand, which is as limp as a day-old piece of danish in mine. She is fast to let go, and so am I.

No further words are exchanged between her and I, but she is chatting up Edward the entire way through the airport and out to the parking lot, where I parked Fred. He is listening attentively while carrying her bag and having his arm slung over her small shoulders, throwing in the occasional question or remark. I feel like the third wheel, but oddly enough I am not even jealous. I am just irritated that she is so obviously freezing me out and staking her claim on Edward.

Things between Edward and I have felt a little off for the last week. He is still a sweet guy, we eat together, study together, hang out together, but the physical side of things have cooled down considerably since Sunday night. And I am not searching for it in particular. We've never labeled our relationship; it has been casual since the very beginning. But now, it doesn't feel like a relationship at all – it feels like a really great friendship. I guess after this weekend, when Tanya's left again, we should have a talk about what we are, and where we want to take this.

But for now, I have to play the part of the supportive friend slash girlfriend and endure the company of the wicked witch from the west. Oh joy. She wrinkles her nose in disgust as she spots Fred in the parking lot. "This is what you drive? This _thing_?" She waves her hand in the air at her comment, and squint her eyes like the sun is irritating. I guess it's my truck she finds irritating.

"Yeah, this is my Fred," I reply, "He was a gift from my mom and stepdad, and I'm very fond of him." I have an irrational urge to defend my baby to this bitch.

"Hrmph." She exclaims, before clambering into the cab, assisted of course by Edward, ever the gentleman. On the drive back to campus, we stop by Wendy's for a bite to eat, and decide to part ways for the rest of the evening. They need to catch up, and I just need to get as far away from the witch as possible! I hope to find Beck home, I really need a distraction and a friendly face right now.

Luckily, Beck is home and ready to party – she's rambling on and on about this party at the Kappa Xi Rho house tonight and she is literally begging me to go with her. Oh well, it's not like I have been to any parties yet, and it might be a good idea to kick back and relax, have a few drinks and talk to some people. I start to get ready, finding some skinny jeans and a cute top. I leave my hair hanging in its usual carefree style. Also, my make-up is minimal – just a touch of eyeliner and some mascara, and I'm ready to go.

We arrive late it seems – the party is already in full swing. Well, it's a Greek house so guess I should have expected it to be a bit rowdy and out of control. There seems to be drunken people everywhere, and the music is blasting so loud that the windows are rattling in the frames. We maneuver our way through the crowd from the front entrance to the kitchen in search of some alcohol. I really need to hang loose tonight and am a bit anxious to get my drink on.

When we reach the kitchen, the whole counter is lined up with jello shots in every conceivable color. Ooooh, I love jello shots! They go down so smoothly. Beck and I start a line of shots in alternating colors and begin to drink from each end – a little drinking game – who ever meets the middle first, wins. It's a surefire way to get drunk fast! After seven shots I have to call it quits for now and let Beck take the last one. It doesn't take long for the shots to take effect and I start to shake and shimmy around with Beck. We are laughing and hollering and generally just having a great time.

At some point, I register that I am standing on top of a table, dancing around in my sneakers. Somehow my top is on backwards – when did I take that off again? Oh, never mind, this is so much FUN! A cute guy is standing up here with me – he tries to grab my ass every ten seconds, but I manage to ward him off. We may not have labeled ourselves, but I don't fuck around. Whoops, where did the table go? Oh, I'm on the floor now. Okay, this is gross – it's sticky and dirty. Beck gives me a hand to get up, and we crack up laughing.

Wait, what's that? Isn't that? Naaah, it can't be Edward, can it? A familiar shock of bronze hair appears in the corner - and there's strawberry blonde as well. What are they doing? Is he whispering something to her? No, the music's too loud for whispering. Why are they standing so close? Why is she grabbing his ass? I must be seeing things – Edward wouldn't make out with her! He said there was nothing more than friendship between them! I grab Beck's hand and make my way over there.

"EDWARD!" I yell in my drunkenness – they are awfully close, and it actually looks like they ARE making out.

No response from either of them. I yell again; "Edward, Tanya, HELLO!" Finally, he straightens up from his awkward position and turns his head towards me – he is actually holding her up against the wall. His eyes locate mine, but they seem unfocused and half-lidded. He licks his lips, and that's when he finally registers who I am. It's almost comical the way his eyes widen at the sight of me.

"Bella? Bella, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here – what are you doing? I thought you wanted to catch up tonight? But I see you're catching up just fine! Catching up with her lips!" I feel pissed off, betrayed, humiliated, confused – all of these emotions are crashing down at me all at once. I am so mad that I am shaking and tears bust out of my eyes in my rage.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen. Will you let me explain? He watches me with pleading eyes and I can literally feel the regret coming off him in waves. It seems Tanya is more or less passed out, barely hanging on to his tall frame. I am taken aback by his sincerity and I can feel myself calming down. The hurt is still there, but rational thinking begins to kick in. I guess the shock have sobered me up somewhat.

"Edward, I don't think we should discuss this now. I am still drunk, and so are you it seems. Tanya is almost passed out and I think you should take care of her now. I'll talk to you in the morning. I expect a damn good explanation to this though. I know we haven't discussed our relationship, but I thought of us as exclusive, so this is quite hurtful." I surprise myself with the cool way I am able to address this, without yelling or screaming and without hitting him.

"Yeah, I think you're right. I'll come get you for some breakfast and then we can talk. Is that okay?" He asks, with sad eyes and an unsure smile.

"Fine, just come around 10, okay?" I don't wait for his response; I just grab Beck and turn on my heel to leave.

On the walk home, Beck is uncharacteristically quiet, and so am I. My head hurts with all the thoughts that are whirling through it, and my heart hurts a little by the feeling of betrayal that lingers. I can feel my cheeks getting damp from the tears that leak from my eyes. Dammit! I hate crying. Especially in public – it's so humiliating. Right now, I really need a hug from my best friend. But then again, I never mentioned anything to Jasper about dating Edward, so seeking his comfort would require me to explain this whole mess. I am really not in the mood for that!

After returning home, I brush my teeth and wash off the mascara streaks that are left behind on my cheeks before I crawl under my cold and lonely sheets. I am emotionally exhausted and luckily I fall asleep quickly. It's a restless sleep, where I wake up several times, drenched in cold sweat – the only thing that can make me fall back to sleep is listening to Jasper's voice on my I-Pod. After setting it on continuous play, I finally fall asleep undisturbed for the remainder of the night.

I wake up early, hung-over and miserable. After a couple of Tylenol and a quick shower, I sit on my bed with my laptop while waiting for Edward to show up. I don't know what to make of this whole mess. I am in love with Jasper, crushing on Edward, who apparently is in love with Tanya, while crushing on me. Talk about a cluster-fuck. Well, I can't even really blame him for choosing to be with her. If the situation was reversed and it was me who had a chance to make out with Jasper, I'm not sure that I could have resisted either. Of course I am hurt, because rational or irrational, I still perceived us as a couple, even if we hadn't discussed it.

I am pulled from my stupor by a tentative knock on the door. It must be Edward. I just hope that he managed to come by himself, since I really don't want to involve Tanya in our private discussion. I want to get an honest explanation and I don't think he will be completely honest with me, if she is present. Besides from the fact that I really don't like her!

I open the door without a word. He looks sheepish and apologetic as he stands there with his eyes glued to my shoes. After a pregnant pause, he raises his eyes and says: "Bella, please…" I stand as still as a statue, raising one eyebrow. A sadistic side of me enjoys watching him squirm while he's waiting for my response. "Bella, aren't you going to speak to me at all?" Yes, I am, but you don't need to know that yet. Muahahaha…

I open my mouth to speak and Edward looks at me expectantly.

"Edward, just take me out for breakfast. I don't want the whole dorm to know my dirty laundry." I say in an icy tone. Yes, I'll let him squirm for a bit. It's only fair. But deep down, I think I've already forgiven him.

**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE!**

**And if you're looking for a great B/E story to tide you over while you wait for my next update, try out Remind Me, by jmj3. You won't regret it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know, it's short, wordy and late! I'm sorry - but RL has been hectic with little time to write, and now I'm going on vacay with the fam, so I won't be updating for at least a week. But I really wanted to get his explanation out to you before I left. I'm sure you'll appreciate that.**

**HUGE thanks to my pre-readers! And sorry that this will be the first time you get to read this ;-)**

**As you can probably guess people - this is UNBETA'ed. Any and all mistakes are all mine.**

**Don't own, SM does. I just mess up their lives *Hahaha***

**Have a great vacation, all of you!**

Chapter 8

We start walking towards a cozy little diner just off campus. They have a breakfast buffet to die for, with pancakes, French toast, eggs in every conceivable variant, bacon, ham, baked beans, toast and preserves, fresh fruits; you name it, they've got it. Our walk is silent, Edward looking at the ground and me ignoring him. There is tension in the air, a lot of unsaid things between us. He keeps fidgeting his hands. Normally we would walk hand in hand, but neither of us seeks physical contact.

After we've gotten our food and sit down at a table, he starts talking. Almost whispering at first, but his voice is growing stronger, when he sees my relaxed expression.

"Bella, I am so sorry… I don't know what to say. It started out very innocent with her and me just sitting around my room, catching up and listening to music. We had a beer or two and a couple of shots, just hanging out. All of a sudden, she tells me that she's in love with me and has been for years – she just didn't have the courage to do anything about it, in fear of losing our friendship…" He trails off here, taking in my reaction, which is completely unfazed. I expected this, and I can both sympathize and empathize. I know EXACTLY what that feels like.

"Anyway, I hate to admit this, but I feel the same way as she does – have done so for a long time. I hoped to get over it when I moved here – to meet a nice girl that I could fall in love with. And I really thought I did, when I met you! You are beautiful, intelligent, kind and warm hearted. You like the same things I like; you seem to match me in every way. But no matter how much I like you, I still love her more. It has nothing to do with you, and everything do with me and her. I really hope that you aren't too hurt over this. I never meant for you to be trapped in this mess. And I'm really really sorry for betraying your trust." He looks pleadingly at me, sincerity radiating from him.

"Edward," I start tentatively, "I know that you're sorry. I know that you didn't mean to hurt me. And I know, more than you think, how it feels to be in your shoes right now. I can certainly understand why temptation got the better of you. Don't worry, there are no hard feelings on my part – I just hope that you'll remain my friend?" Now it's my turn to look pleadingly at him. I don't want to lose him as a friend – he is a great person, and we get along so well. We're study partners and share almost every class. I love him as a friend, and can honestly say that.

"Of course I will, Bella! I was hoping we could be friends – you mean a lot to me and we have so much in common. And I promise, I will never hurt you again – at least not intentionally." His face lights up in that beautiful crooked smile of his and his emerald eyes shine with happiness.

"I have something to tell you as well, now that we're being so honest with each other," I say, "The reason that I can relate so well to yours and Tanya's situation is that I am in love with someone as well. And I haven't got the courage to do anything about it either, by fear of losing a great friendship.." I trail off.

"Is it Jasper? Of course it is, I should have known. It seemed like there was always something in your eyes, something holding you back when things started to get physical between us. Like you weren't 100 % invested in it – same as I felt, actually." He asks and concludes, all on his own. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know if I should do anything. I don't want to risk it."

"He might feel the same way, Bella. Take it from me – I've been there! Tanya told me that she needed you as a catalyst for acting on her feelings. It wasn't until she realized that she was in a very real danger of losing me forever that she mustered the courage. Maybe it's the same way for him?"

"Maybe you are right – but I still don't know how. No way am I going to confess to him as it is. He only expresses platonic feelings for me in his letters and calls. I won't ever risk that." I am adamant in my refusal of putting myself out there.

"I have an idea!" He says, "Was it next weekend that he would come up and visit?"

"Yes, he's coming Friday night and staying till Saturday, then we'll drive home and visit our parents, before driving back here Sunday afternoon."

"Okay, so what are the plans for Friday night?" He asks.

"We haven't finalized them, but knowing Jazz it's not going to be boring. I promised to show him around campus and such. He is sleeping over in my dorm room." I reply, wondering where this is going.

"How about this; we pick him up together at the airport. I pretend to be your boyfriend, just to gauge his reaction. If he's in love with you as well he'll get jealous – if he's just a friend, he'll be indifferent. That will prove to you how he feels, without risk. And it might spur him on, like it did with Tanya." He winks at me and is all exited of his genius plan. And I must admit it is a genius plan – totally risk free and a surefire way to find out where Jasper stands in this. Edward's excitement is contagious and I smile at him, really toothy and happy.

"YES! That's really fantastic Edward! He won't suspect and I'll be much surer of his standpoint. I love that!" I imitate Beck and start to jump in my seat and clap my hands. "Oh, I love you Edward – it's perfect!" Now we're both beaming. I am so happy I could burst – finally I am going to know! Finally I will see if I stand a chance of winning my man!

I realize that while Edward has been sitting here eating and explaining, Tanya has been left for her own devices. Poor girl – she finally gets her man, and now he's left her for to be with another woman. Even if I don't like her, she still doesn't deserve that. She came here to see him, not to be left alone. "Edward, where's Tanya? I feel kind of bad that you had to leave her on her own."

"She understands. She went out to have some breakfast and shop a little – she loves to shop and there's a huge mall nearby where she's spending her morning. Knowing her, she'll end up needing your truck to haul all of her purchases back. Would you mind giving me a lift there to pick her up?" He responds. I am a bit wary – less than 24 hours ago, we hated each other with a passion, 12 hours ago she stole my man and now I'm going to be her cab-driver? Ah, whatever – I might as well reach out a little, if I'm going to stay friends with Edward.

We finish up quickly and start to walk towards my dorm parking lot. Soon we are on our way to the mall. It's nearing noon, and they have planned to meet at the food court for lunch by 12.30. I guess they didn't expect me to be there as well, but she'll just have to deal.

She is standing at the Chinese food stand, waiting expectantly for Edward, I'm sure. She looks happy and hopeful – until she spots me, that is. Instantly her expression changes into an insecure and sad mask. It's obvious that she feels guilty – apparently she's not as shallow and bitchy as she had given the impression of yesterday, but actually has a conscience!

"Hi Bella," she says, "I am so happy to see you here – I mean, I didn't know how you'd react and if you'd ever want to speak to any of us again. I'm so sorry for the way we treated you, and thank you for being the better person." Her apology is sincere, and I'm impressed that she doesn't beat around the bush, but jumps right into it. She might be the right kind of person for Edward – but I guess he wouldn't have been friends with her in the first place, if she wasn't a good soul. He is too good and too smart for that.

"It's okay, Tanya. I know how you feel about him – and I know how frustrating your situation was. Believe me, I know." I can't help but forgive her as well. The whole situation just hits too close to home not to. She smiles a relieved smile at me and nods her thanks.

"Hey Baby," Edward says and kisses her cheek, "I hope you had a pleasant morning?"

"I did, even though I was worried for the two of you. Are you still friends?" She asks, kissing him back and looking expectantly at us.

"We are. There's too much good between us not to. And we devised a devilish little plan to get Bella _her_ man. You see, her situation is almost exactly the same as yours!" Edward tells her and grins. "Let us get lunch, and we'll tell you all about it."

She agrees and we all order our food and find a table. We spend most of the afternoon laughing and planning – I'm getting really excited. It seems I'm finally setting things in motion to get Jasper – now I just hope that it doesn't end in heartbreak.

**Throw me a bone and review. Even if it's to yell at me for leaving it so short and late. Love y'all.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey Everybody! I'm back from vacation, and I even found a little time to scribble a few letters from Jasper and Bella - they are UNBETAED, just to get them to you asap. I hope you'll forgive any mistakes anyway :-)**

**Also, I should mention that I know very very little about the actual education for Naval Aviator (I am relying on Google for the information, so bear with me) but I try to keep it as realistic as possible.**

**Huge thanks to my pre-readers, who once again have to read this for the first time after posting. Sorry Loves, but I promise you get the next chapter before anyone else! **

**Don't own, SM does. I just own an empty bank account :-/**

Chapter 9

_To: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Planning_

_Date: September 24, 2010, 08:32 PM_

_Hi my sweet Jelly-Belly,_

_So, the days are nearing where we see each other again! I can't wait to hold you again, laugh with you again, just being with you again. Seems like time is slowing down, the closer I get to the weekend. Why is it always like that? It feels like being 10 years old and waiting for Christmas or the summer vacation all over again._

_I've been investigating flight possibilities, and it looks like I can catch a flight out of San Diego at 4.30 pm on Friday, so I'll be needing you to pick me up at 6.30 pm at Sea-Tac, is that okay with you? I know it's in the middle of dinnertime, but I was hoping we could grab a bite together, if you can survive that long? On that note – I hope you make sure to eat enough, you skinny little thing. Wouldn't want you to waste away on me completely! I myself have lost at least 10 pounds since coming here – the food's terrible in the mess hall, and I have no taste for McDonald's anymore, I'm fed up with it after a couple of months here. As a good consequence, I can actually count my abs now ;-) Six of them, proudly on display! *LOL*_

_Back to topic – can I convince you to make some dinner reservations on an Italian restaurant? I crave something Italian, and I have eaten way too much crappy pizza lately, so that doesn't count. And I want to have some undisturbed friend time with you, please, before we get sucked into the whole 'friends and family' reunion thing. Just you and me, Darlin', that's what I crave the most. I hope that's okay._

_Today's musical interlude is of course 3 Doors Down; Here without you. It expresses my feelings for you at the moment perfectly._

_Always, yours_

_Jazz_

**3 Doors Down, Here Without You:**

_A hundred days have made me older_

_Since the last time that I saw your pretty face_

_A thousand lies have made me colder_

_And I don't think I can look at this the same_

_But all the miles that separate_

_Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight it's only you and me, yeah_

_The miles just keep rollin'_

_As the people leave their way to say hello_

_I've heard this life is overrated_

_But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight girl it's only you and me_

_Everything I know and anywhere I go_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_

_And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh_

_Love – J.D.W._

_To: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Re: Planning_

_Date: September 25, 2010, 7:30 AM_

_Hi Jazz!_

_Oh, I'm so psyched that you're actually coming here soon! Of course I'll pick you up at 6.30, and don't be ridiculous; of course I'll have dinner with you! Wouldn't want it any other way – I've been waiting to see you again for an eternity, so every minute with you will be enjoyed to the max. _

_And Yes, I'm making sure to eat right – DAD! *snickers* I have actually gained three pounds, so I'm well on my way to the freshman fifteen already – phew. My jeans are getting tight and soon I'll need to bow down and either go shopping for clothes (YUCK!) or lose some pounds again. Argh for you, I'll go clothes shopping – but don't get your hopes up, I have no plans of gaining anymore weight! I'm perfectly happy being slender, thank you. Even if you think I should turn into a fatty, just so your nick name for me would actually fit._

_When was it you were going to get airborne again? And how does that work – are you going solo, or with an instructor to take over, like when you're in Drivers Ed.? God, I hope you won't crash and burn, excuse the pun. My stomach revolts when I think about you up there, managing an airplane for the first time! I can imagine all too well what could happen if something went wrong. Please don't do anything stupid! I would be devastated without you. I am so frightened by the thought of you being gone. _

_Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer – I'm excited for you! I know it's your dream come true. I just can't help worry about you. My life would be nothing without you in it. I'm sure you'll excel though – you already drive like a maniac, so flying won't be much different – just an adjustment in altitude! *LOL* Are you going to get on an aircraft carrier as well, or will you start out from solid ground? Sorry, I can't help but hear the soundtrack from 'Top Gun' in my head, imagining you in flight gear – do you already have a call sign, like in the movie? Or will you have to wait till you graduate for that?_

_Love ya lots! –_

_Your Jelly-Belly (soon literally)_

_To: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Re:Re:Planning_

_Date: September 25, 2010, 06:37 PM_

_Hey Love,_

_Just a quick note to confirm that I'm landing in Sea-Tac at 6.30 on Friday – can't wait!_

_Thanks for agreeing to dinner with me – it means a lot to me, and I can't wait to catch up. I'll probably talk your ear off, but what do you expect! *laughs* I've printed a lot of pictures so I can tell you all of our stupid soldier-stories including imagery. Brace yourself, 'cause stupidity ensues, and you'll laugh till your sides split, with guarantee. _

_To answer your questions; Yes, I'll be flying with an instructor until I'm deemed safe to fly individually – at least 20 hours of flight time with an instructor is required before I'm allowed solo-flights, so rest assured that I'm not let loose as a cannonball waiting to crash. I won't be stupid or reckless – it's not just my own life, but the life of my navigator as well on the line, not to mention ground crew and a 30 billion dollar aircraft. Don't worry, Jelly-Belly – I'll do my damndest to come home to you._

_We start out with flying from the airbase, but when we start our solo-flights, we'll get assigned to a carrier and work from there. Here we'll also get paired up with our navigators, so we will be a team, training together. I've got a call sign already – as you probably guessed, I'm 'Jazzman' – my drill sergeant has no imagination! I would much rather be called something cool like 'Killer' or 'Rampage' – but when I suggested that, he just laughed and said he could have called me 'Jazzy Jeff' and called my navigator 'Fresh Prince', so I guess I lucked out (not to mention the guy who would have been stuck with Fresh Prince!)._

_Today's music selection (since you mentioned Top Gun, I found this very appropriate) is by Berlin; Take my Breath Away. Lyrics included below, since I am NOT singing that with my baritone voice – I would sound like I took a kick in the balls!_

_All my love,_

_Your Jazzman._

**Berlin, Take my Breath Away:**

_Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game _

_On this endless ocean finally lovers know no shame _

_Turning and returning to some secret place inside _

_Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say _

_Take my breath away _

_Take my breath away _

_Watching I keep waiting still anticipating love _

_Never hesitating to become the fated ones _

_Turning and returning to some secret place to hide _

_Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say _

_Take my breath away _

_Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped away _

_When the mirror crashed I called you, and turned to hear you say _

_If only for today I am unafraid _

_Take my breath away _

_Take my breath away _

_Watching every motion in this foolish lover's game _

_Haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames _

_Turning and returning to some secret place inside _

_Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say _

_Take my breath away _

_My love, take my breath away _

_Love – J.D.W_

**Review please! Next time, the moment you've all been waiting for - you get to meet our sweet Jasper in person!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Finally, our Bella's going to meet her beloved Jasper again! This is a monster chapter, closing on over 8000 words, so take your time! And there's gonna be some citrus, jsyk ;-)**

**Massive thanks to my lovely pre-readers, I love you both! Your input makes this story what it is - couldn't do it without either of you *kisses***

**If you're interested in the music, pictures, teasers and just general discussion, come visit the facebook group at facebook (dot) com / #! / groups / 234182123280733 / just take out the spaces.**

**You're also welcome to friend me - link's in my profile.**

**SM owns - I just get to make them do weird and inappropriate stuff ;-)**

Chapter 10

Finally Friday, and I'm wracked with nerves! Edward's genius plan suddenly doesn't seem as genius – I really just want to enjoy my time with Jasper, and not play games. I am _this_ close to calling the whole thing off and canceling with Edward. In a fit of nerves, I press my number two speed dial, so he can talk me down some.

"Edward, help! I'm shitting bricks here!" I say, as soon as he picks up the phone.

"Easy there, everything's gonna work out just fine, sweetheart. Nothing to worry about, trust me." His smooth voice reassures me somewhat. "Tell you what – We don't have to play boyfriend/girlfriend – if he's anything like me or Tanya, just seeing you with another guy will be enough to ruffle his feathers."

"You sure? I don't want to ruin his visit and my chances – if he thinks I'm taken he'll act as the perfect southern gentleman. He'll back off to not hurt my feelings – that is, if he's even interested in the first place…" I trail off, unsure about this whole scheme.

"All the more reason to not overdo it. I'll just be your good friend, and cast some longing glances your way – if he's interested he should be green with jealousy at that. You just have to be your usual friendly self towards me, and not least towards him! Don't do anything out of normal, we don't want to make him suspicious and you DON'T want to give him any clues about your feelings! The point is to make him jealous enough to act on it, but not pissed off." Edward says – I can almost hear the glint in his eyes right now. He is really a cunning little devil, when he wants to be.

"All right, that's a plan. I can't wait to see him though. The butterflies in my stomach are going crazy!" I whine and can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I'm as high strung as a violin string right now.

"Don't go all girl on me now, I can't take the tears – they are my kryptonite!" Edward says sympathetically, but with laughter in his voice. "See you in half an hour, sweetheart. I'll meet you at the parking lot."

"Okay, see you soon." We end the call, and I dart to my mirror to adjust the hair and minimal make-up I've applied. I also take some time to put on Jasper's favorite perfume that he got me for Christmas – Be Delicious, by DKNY. I love it too. It's fruity, light and sweet, but not too sweet. It suits my personality quite well, I think. I also put in the earrings he got me for my birthday last year –cute little hearts, dangling from a little silver hoop. All in all, I look good, with my favorite dark skinny jeans and a layered dark blue satin and chiffon top, with a simple black tank underneath. It's dressier than I usually wear my clothes, but since we are going out to dinner, I decided to make an effort.

Fifteen minutes later, after a desperate attempt to locate my missing ballet flat, I succeed and snatch up my keys and jacket. Here we go, ready or not, in an hour's time I'll see my Jasper again. I really hope he has on his uniform. I haven't seen it yet, the cheater hasn't even sent me any pictures! I wonder if he's been forced to crop his hair short – oh what a shame that would be. I've always loved his long curly dark blond locks. For years, I've dreamed about running my fingers through it in the throes of passion.

Edward is waiting beside Fred at the parking lot, as he said he would, and we're off towards Sea-Tac in a matter of minutes. I ask Edward to drive, since I'm so nervous that I'm shaking like a leaf. He willingly obliges – he's been begging for a chance to drive my truck since the first trip to Forks. Sooner than I expect, we are parking in the short term lot and jump out of the car. My legs can barely carry me, they feel like jello.

Inside the terminal, I immediately look at the board to see his flight status – so far it's on schedule, with only 15 minutes till landing. I pace back and forth like a caged lion and Edward laughs heartily over my antics, as he stretches out his long legs in front of him, sitting in the uncomfortable plastic seats. I keep watching the board, until it says that Jasper has landed. Then I switch to watching his gate, eager to see him appear.

Suddenly I spot a tall, lanky fellow, dressed in fatigues and mirror ray-ban aviators and with dark blond semi-long hair at the gates. Could it be? He looks so familiar yet different. But it is him, I can tell as soon as he spots me, because that brilliant, dimpled smile with his straight white teeth lights up his entire face at the sight of me. He breaks out in a half run towards me, and as soon as he is within 10 feet, he flings his duffel bag of his shoulder and drops his guitar case to have his arms free for me. He grabs me around the waist with his big hands and hoists me in the air, before hugging the life out of me.

As soon as I am in his arms, I feel like I'm home. His familiar cedar and fresh hay scent with a touch of citrus hasn't changed. His warmth and the sound of his heartbeat is the same. His humming and sniffing the skin behind my ear is new though – he was never quite this affectionate before. Always warm and friendly, but this feels new. This feels like lovers reuniting. I close my eyes and hug him tightly with my arms around his broad shoulders and my nose buried in his neck, like his is in mine. I don't know how long we hug like this, but it feels too short. If I could, I would surgically attach myself in his arms and never leave.

After a little while I suddenly feel his warm lips on my neck, giving me small butterfly kisses. His lips lightly trace the skin over my pulse point, so faint that I can barely feel it, but it's there, and it certainly wakes up the butterflies in my stomach again. What does this mean? He's kissing me? Oh wow, I never dared dream of this! Too soon he lifts his head up straight, and looks me in the eyes. His deep forest green eyes, with little yellow specks and darker around the edges bore into mine, and they look so happy! They shine with unshed tears and seem to say so much; I just can't figure out what. I return his smile with my own, and all is right in my world. I have my Jasper in my arms.

"Hi Jelly-Belly. Still as light as ever, I see." He says, with his warm baritone voice, slightly husky from emotion.

"Hi," I whisper quietly, "God, it's so good to see you."

A throat clearing behind us brings me back to reality, Edward is waiting and I have a part to play – even if it feels kind of redundant now, I still want to know for sure what Jasper's little kisses meant. Jasper slowly releases me and lets my feet find the floor again. He wraps his big hand around my little one though, like he doesn't want to let me go. I have to introduce them now. I really wish I'd just come alone, so I could have enjoyed his embrace a little longer and not disturbed our twosomeness.

"Oh yes, Jasper, meet Edward – a very good friend of mine from the university. He's the one that helped me move my stuff that I wrote you about." Edward stands up from his perch on the plastic chairs and reaches out his hand to shake Jasper's.

"How do you do, Jasper? It's very nice to meet you." Edward's impeccable manners shine through, even if Jasper's eyes are shooting daggers at him right now. I guess he's not as pleased, even if he's trying to hide it with a strained smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"I'm great, thank you; and likewise." Jasper shakes his outstretched hand with considerable force. I can tell because his knuckles are actually turning white, and Edward grimaces a little. It's kind of funny, this little showdown in the middle of the airport. The two gladiators here are equally built, almost the same height, though Jasper has about an inch on Edward, but diametrically opposite in coloring and demeanor. Edward is pale and dark haired with mild mannerisms and soft-spoken. Jasper is lightly tanned and fair-haired with southern charm and a certain air of cockiness about him. Both of them are unspeakably beautiful and easily candidates for a GQ photo-shoot.

"So, Eddie, I hope you've been treating my girl well?" Jasper says, with a tone of warning. My girl? What the hell? He's never, ever been possessive of me before. I guess Edward was right – he just needed some competition for him to reveal himself.

"As well as she deserves," Edward replies, "She was a great help in fixing me up with my girlfriend recently." Oh, so Edward decided that no more coaxing was necessary, did he? Hmmm, I'll have to talk to him about this abandonment of our plan. Surely, Jasper isn't that intimidating, is he? I guess Edward thinks so, or else he thinks that our suspicions are confirmed now. I would have liked to be a little more certain though, but it seems I'm on my own now! I shoot daggers at him with my eyes. Traitor.

The tension releases from Jasper's shoulders by this, and his smile turns genuine. "Oh, did she? That's my Bella – always there for a friend." He lays his arm over my shoulder and gives them a gentle squeeze. "What brings you here today, Edward? Are you and your girlfriend going out with us?" He asks a little confused.

"Oh, no – Tanya is at Northwestern, sadly. I'm just the driver – Bella wasn't too happy driving through rush hour traffic in Seattle, so I volunteered." Nice save, Edward – this could have turned awkward. "I was hoping you could drop me off at campus on your way to dinner?"

"Sure, I'll drive, Bella, if you're uncomfortable?" Jasper looks at me a little worried – I've never been afraid of driving in the city, and he knows this.

"Yes, please – I've been a little tired all day, and don't quite feel up to it. I couldn't sleep last night." I say with a wink to Jasper, he knows how excited I've been.

We proceed to pick up Jasper's discarded duffel and carry-on luggage from the floor, moving out of the terminal towards Fred. Soon we're off towards campus with Jasper behind the wheel and me in the middle seat. It suits me just fine – I can feel his body heat radiating of him and I'm close enough that I can breathe in his intoxicating scent. I'm content and drunk off Jasper right now, not even present enough to follow the guy's conversation. We drop off Edward, but I don't move from my place next to Jasper – I'm not ready to separate even an inch from him right now. I don't think I'll ever be.

As we pull up to the restaurant, Jasper jumps out and runs to my side of the car, helping me out, before the valet has a chance. He takes my hand, gently, and steadies me as I jump down. His other hand finds purchase on my waist, as he looks me deeply in the eyes. His eyes are still alight with happiness, and it seems like his smile is a permanent fixture on his face.

"Ready to head in, Gorgeous?" He asks me, while grabbing my jacket on the seat behind me, carefully draping it over my shoulders.

"Yes, please, I'm starving!" I keep my hand inside his and drag him towards the restaurant doors.

"Yes, ma'am!" he laughs heartily, and follows me to the hostess stand. The hostess is not so subtle in checking him out, while completely ignoring me. Typical! Can't really blame her though – he is indescribably hot, in his uniform and with side cuts in his hair. It's a pity that the length has been reduced so much but I know it's a requirement – at least he's kept the length on top, only cutting of the sides. It gives him a bad boy edge that he didn't have as much before. Biased as I am, I can see how much of a hunk he is. He's always been to me, but now he's stepped up into a league of his own.

"Can I help you?" The snotty hostess says, only speaking to Jasper.

"Yes," I cut in, "reservations under Swan, table for two." I give her a pointed look, and she finally looks at me, apologetically.

"Certainly Ms. If you'll follow me, I've reserved you a table by the window over here." She leads the way towards a quiet table with a wonderful view of the waterfront. "Your server will be right with you."

We sit down; Jasper is acting like quite the gentleman, holding out my chair for me, before seating himself. Once seated, he reaches across the table and takes my hand again. This is beginning to feel like a real date – unlike the old days, where we would find a pizza place or a burger joint and goof around. Jasper is happy, but also somewhat solemn. A whole different side of him is appearing that I've never been privy to before. I like it, while still missing the old Jasper. My Jasper. I know he's still in there, but for now I'll wait and see how this plays out. See if I can figure out if he really has feelings for me, or if it's his overprotective side come out to play.

"Hello, I'm Sherry, your server for the evening. What can I get you to drink?" Our server is a girl my age, with long blond hair and blue eyes. She seems very nice, and doesn't focus too much on Jasper, while handing us our menus.

"I'll have a sweet tea, what about you Bella?" Jasper says, and looks at me.

"I'll just have ice water, please."

"Very well, I'll be back in a bit with your drinks and to take your order." The waitress disappears, leaving us to peruse the menu. I quickly decide on mushroom ravioli that seems quite delicious. Jasper wants to try the chicken parmesan, ordering both the dishes when Sherry returns. We sit for a while in companionable silence, just enjoying each other's presence. After a little while, Jasper clears his throat and starts to speak.

"Bella, I wanted to talk to you about something. Something I couldn't just write in a letter or an e-mail." He trails off, looking imploringly at me.

"What is it, Jazz? You know you can talk to me about anything." I reply, giving his hand a comforting squeeze.

"In the time we've been apart, I've realized something. I realized that I –," He gets interrupted mid-sentence by the arrival of our food. We sit patiently waiting, while Sherry arranges our plates and disappears again.

"You were saying? What did you realize?" I ask.

"Nothing, just – forget it, it's not important." Jasper says, blushing. I've never EVER seen him blush before, and now my curiosity is peaked. What could possibly make my cocky, self-confident best friend blush? Oh my GOD, I hope he hasn't found a girlfriend. That would simply devastate me. I begin to shake a bit, feeling queasy by the mere thought of Jazz with another girl. He notices that I'm suddenly green and sweaty, concern marring his features.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asks, wrinkling his brow.

"No, Jazz, I'm not alright. What were you trying to tell me before? Please, just tell me. I can't handle not knowing." I know I sound like a baby, and I'm ashamed of myself, but I need to know. I'll run out of here crying and believing the worst otherwise. His blush returns, and he seeks out eye contact with me, opening and closing his mouth a few times.

Suddenly, he blurts out; "Bella, I'm in love." My world crashes down on me, and I begin to hyperventilate. My worst fear has just been confirmed. He's in love with somebody else. I can't stop a tear from trailing down my cheek, and my lips begin to quiver. How humiliating this is! I can't even hold it together long enough to get to the bathroom!

"Bella, Bella – I'm in love with you!" Jasper desperately pleads, squeezing my hand so hard it hurts. What did he say? With me? Did I just imagine this, or did he really mean it? I look into his sad eyes, so filled with worry and fear of rejection, and burst out in laughter.

"With me, Jasper? Really?" I can't breathe for my tears, laughter and relief are washing through me all at once. My Jasper is really MY Jasper after all. I can't believe this, but one look in his eyes confirms it all for me. It's true. He sitting in his seat, nodding and smiling, still with a hint of trepidation on his face – oh, right, I didn't say it back! He still doesn't know how I feel about him. He really went out on a limb here, and I am just laughing and crying. He must not know what leg to stand on right now. I better reassure him.

I stand up, not letting go of his hand, and walk to his side of the table. Bending down towards him a little, lifting his chin with my fingers and say; "I love you to, Jasper Dean Whitlock. More than you'll ever know." And then I kiss him. I let my lips meet his perfect, pouty lips, softly. He tastes so good and his lips are soft like velvet, yielding, yet firm against mine. Just one kiss I give him, in the middle of the crowded restaurant, before I go back to my own seat and start to eat like nothing's happened.

Jasper sits dumbfounded across from me at the table. His mouth is hanging open a bit and he has a glazed look in his eyes. In a minute I suspect he'll start drooling, if he doesn't snap out of his haze. I snap my fingers in front of him. "Jazz, eat something. Your food's getting cold." I can barely contain my laughter. The whole world just aligned and I'm giddy, shoveling my ravioli into my mouth.

"Oh I'm sorry, Bella! Yeah, I should eat." He replies, and starts to dig in, still dumbfounded, but now with a silly grin on his face. Apparently, I'm not the only one that's giddy here tonight. I've never seen Jasper this way, all flustered and happy. It's really amusing, but I'm also enormously happy, since I know that his reason for being this way is ME. I now know that he is just as head over heels for me, as I am for him.

We keep throwing each other looks through our meal, not saying much, just looking at one another. I'm not sure how to act now that we've confessed our feelings. Are we still the old Jasper and Bella? Or are we something else, something more? We have a lot to discuss, but it will have to wait till we're alone, which will be hard since Beck will be at the dorm, waiting for us. She convinced me to drag Jazz to the dorm-party, to let him have a 'full college experience'. Knowing my Jazz, he'll have a great time, and in my latest e-mail, I did ask him to take me for a walk on the wild side, as he is so good at.

When we finish, Sherry turns up again, asking if we want dessert. We take one look at each other and decline, asking for the check instead. Jasper snatches the folder before I can, and gives me a reproachful look.

"Like hell you're going to pay on our first date, Darlin'! I wanna treat my baby right, and you're not gonna fight me on this." His southern drawl comes out to play, like it only really does when he's chastising me, really happy or really angry. He's born in Texas, but was raised in Forks since we were three (and met each other at the playground) but he spent almost all of his vacations in Texas at his grandparent's house. His Gramps and Gran are responsible for his southern manners and charm - and for the accent. Swoon!

"Alright, you win." I decide to let go for once, and let him pay – if he really thinks of this as our first date, I don't want to argue with him. I just want to enjoy it. And the thought of him taking care of me admittedly makes me swoon. I'm rewarded by his huge, dimpled smile – if he keeps this up, I'm going to be reduced to a quivering puddle of Bella-Goo by the end of the night. My heart can only take so much cuteness. After signing the receipt and tipping our waitress, he escorts me out to the valet with his hand on the small of my back; protecting and possessive.

We drive back to campus holding hands the entire way. He hasn't tried to kiss me again, and I'm a little disappointed at that. I really want to feel his lips on mine again! But I cherish his large hand wrapped around mine just the same. I'm all warm and fuzzy at the thought that he's really mine now. My dream came true tonight, and I have trouble wrapping my head around the thought. For 7 years, I've pined for him, and now he's here and he's in love with me! He keeps looking surreptitiously at me, without moving his head, like he has to convince himself that I'm really here too. I catch his glance and smile happily at him, which he returns with his dimples on full display.

Finally we arrive at my dorm, and again he helps me out of the car. When I hit the ground, he lets his hands glide from my shoulders to my underarms and holds me lightly, while looking me deeply in the eyes. Once again, I'm lost in a sea of green warmth. He bends his head slightly and his lips meet mine this time. Soft, moist, strong lips; they move with my own in a dance as old as time. Tenderly, he takes my bottom lip between both of his and licks it; asking for entrance, which I happily grant him. For the first time, our tongues meet and now I can _really_ taste him. His sweet mouth with a hint of spice and mint is pure heaven. Our tongues dance together and the warmth spread through my entire body. My head spins and I feel like I'm floating.

My hands wander up his strong back, and glide into his hair; the hair that I fantasized about so many times. It's softer than I expected, it feels like silk between my fingers. He moans quietly into my mouth, which spurs me on, and I angle my head for better access. Now I'm the one to grab his lip between mine, licking, feeling, tasting him. His hands are at my waist, gripping me harder, but not painfully so; just right. They glide upwards a little, just brushing the underside of my breast, and I'm on fire now. I want it all - but not here; not in a parking lot. I break away for air, and start kissing down his neck, still licking and tasting the salt of his skin. He tastes wonderful _everywhere_. He sucks on my pulse point and moves his mouth to my ear where he sucks on the lobe; moaning again.

"Bella, we've got to stop. I want so much more, but not here and now. I want to enjoy it all with you. I've been waiting for this long; I can wait a little longer." He whispers lovingly into my ear.

"You're right. This is not the place. But we will continue this later." I say, breathless and panting. Reluctantly, I break free from his neck and look at his face. He is beaming – his whole face is lit up with a smile, his eyes are sparkling and his posture is relaxed. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before.

"Sounds good," he said with a wink, "I really think we should talk also – discuss where we stand? I know where I want this to lead, but what about you? I know I dropped a bomb on you tonight, and I honestly didn't expect this to happen. I was so afraid that you'd turn me down and that things were gonna get awkward between us." He trails off, unsure of my reaction.

"Jasper," I look at him tenderly, "You didn't need to worry. I've been in love with you since I was 12 years old – I just never had the guts to act on it. All of the time you were with Alice, I was green with jealousy! I couldn't stand her – not because of the person she is, but because she had what I wanted most, and didn't even appreciate it properly. You. She had you, and you were all I wanted – all I still want. I know it's going to be difficult when you're away for training and in the future, when you get stationed somewhere and sent on missions and whatever- but I'll do anything I can to make this work regardless. I love you." I kiss him softly, sealing the promise I just made.

He grabs my hand and I lead him inside the dorm. The party is already in full swing and scantily clad people run up and down the hall, in and out of each other's rooms. Music is booming – different tunes from different rooms. It's an eclectic chaos, but it looks like a lot of fun. I drag Jasper up the stairs to my floor and guide him in our door. Our room is relatively quiet – Beck is still standing at the mirror, fluffing her hair around and getting ready to party. She has started with some partying though – an opened bottle of vodka stands on her nightstand, and she reaches out to take a swig directly from the bottle. Then she spots us and squeals.

"Bella! You're here! And wowza – who is this hunk of man-meat? You sure know how to pick 'em girlfriend!" She slurs half drunkenly. I blush from my head to my toes – why did she have to hint at my brief relationship with Edward now? "This is Jasper, Beck, you remember I told you about my friend from home coming to visit?"

"Oh yeah – I already arranged with Lisa that I could spend the night in her room and give the two of you some privacy. But you never mentioned what a hottie he was! You must have some strong pheromones, girl, the good looking ones flock around you!" She laughs heartily and sways a little. Jasper reaches out his hand to shake hers, and ends up steadying her in the process. He laughs at this as well, and proceeds to dump his duffel on my bed. His carry-on luggage consists of his guitar case. I've never seen Jasper travel anywhere without it. It's such an integral part of him – he can't survive without his music. Fortunately for me and the rest of his surroundings, he's really good at playing and singing! He opens his duffel and pull out a bottle of Jack – his drug of choice, and mine, when he lures me into it.

"A drink Darlin'?" he asks me with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure – let's celebrate!" I reply with a wink and a smile.

"Yeah, let's." The corner of his mouth turns up giving him a diabolical grin together with the lifted eyebrow. He looks absolutely adorable when he does this, and he knows it too. He deftly unscrews the cap and takes a big swig, before handing the bottle to me. After I take a drink of my own, he fishes out a white v neck tee with some tribal pattern on the front and a pair of frayed well-worn jeans from the duffel. His trusty belt with the enormous confederate flag buckle appears too. He turns towards me, gesturing for a place to change. I point him towards the closet. It's not big, but he should be able to maneuver in there. He grabs some cologne as well and slips inside to change out of his uniform. Pity – he looks absolutely edible in it!

I take a couple of drinks more and chat a bit with Beck, before she takes off to find Lisa and get her party on. Suddenly I feel a pair of strong arms around my shoulders, and Jasper's chin finds purchase on the top of my head. "Mmmmhh, you smell so good Darlin' – like strawberry shampoo and Bella. I love the way you smell." He says, inhaling deeply in my hair. I turn around and stretch on my tip-toes to give him a kiss. He returns it with vigor, letting his tongue slip into my mouth and his hands wander to my butt, gently cupping it. He breaks away after a while, panting. "We've got to stop this – we have a party to attend to."

I take a step back and drink him in with my eyes. Good God is he delicious! The long hair on the top of his head is tied back in a ponytail and his muscled biceps are clearly visible under the sleeves of his shirt. He's got a tattoo now – a cute little heart with 'Mama' underneath in a band. It's a real sailor's tattoo. The definition of his pec's and his taut stomach are enhanced by his tight shirt. It makes my mouth water at the thought of licking his abs later. I never had a physical reaction like this to anyone. Sure, I found Edward very attractive, but these kinds of thoughts are new for me. I feel a dull ache in the pit of my stomach by the idea of being physically intimate with him. I long for it.

"Sure – will you bring the guitar? I thought about sitting in the common area and hanging out. I don't know the other residents well enough to crash any of their rooms."

"I'd love to. Will you take the bottle, please?"

"Sure."

We head down the hallway to the big common room, hand in hand. People say hello along the way, and some do a double take by the sight of me with this handsome guy at my side. I guess they never expected shy, introvert Bella to show up with a hottie at a dorm-party. Ha! We grab a seat at an available love-seat and Jasper takes out the guitar and starts to tune it quietly. I chat with some of the girls that sit around and soon a small crowd has gathered around us, expectantly awaiting Jasper beginning to play something.

"I would like to start out with a classic," he says and winks at me – I can feel the mischief radiating from him, "Boss DJ, by Sublime." He starts laughing as I groan loudly. He then continues to strike the opening chords, singing obnoxiously, directing it straight at me. I blush scarlet and stick out my tongue at him. Very mature, I know. But I even though I hate the song, I still can't help but enjoy it – it's been so long since I've heard Jasper play in person, and his warm, husky baritone voice gives me chills up my spine. Furthermore, I enjoy it immensely because this is such a pivotal sign of our relationship. It assures me that we're still best friends underneath the newfound boyfriend-girlfriend status – if that's what we even are. We still haven't labeled it. We still need to talk about it, but for right now, I just live in the moment and cherish every second I have with him.

When the song finishes, I give him a lug on his shoulder in retaliation. He can't escape me here, and it's tradition that I take my revenge whenever he plays that song; be it by water gun, physical damage, itching powder or hiding his guitar pick, I've always done something to get back at him. He fakes hurt and winks at me again, before taking my hand and kissing it. Swoon – why must he be such a perfect gentleman?

Jasper continues to play, different songs and genres, but mostly classic rock ballads. He plays a couple of requests as well. I continue to drink from the bottle of Jack, and can feel myself getting more and more tipsy as the night progresses. I'm not downright drunk, but it's not far from it. Jasper announces last song for the night, and turns towards me;

"I want to dedicate this one to my love, my Bella. It's an old Foo Fighter's song, and it describes the way I felt the previous months perfectly. Times like these."

_I am a one way motorway  
>I'm the one that drives away<br>Then follows you back home  
>I am a street light shining<br>I'm a wild light blinding bright  
>Burning off alone<em>

It's times like these you learn to live again  
>It's times like these you give and give again<br>It's times like these you learn to love again  
>It's times like these time and time again<p>

I am a new day rising  
>I'm a brand new sky<br>To hang the stars upon tonight  
>I am a little divided<br>Do I stay or run away  
>And leave it all behind?<p>

It's times like these you learn to live again  
>It's times like these you give and give again<br>It's times like these you learn to love again  
>It's times like these time and time again<p>

He lets the last note hang a little longer in the air, while looking me deeply in the eyes. As soon as the sound dies away, his lips are on mine – sweetly and appropriate for company, but still filled with so much emotion. I almost cry from it, brimming over with emotions myself.

Jasper stands up and gives me his hand to pull me up from the little couch – but I am severely unsteady on my feet from drinking half a bottle of Jack, so I stumble and almost fall flat on my face – I would have, if his hard chest hadn't broken my fall. His arms automatically lock around me, and we both burst out laughing. "Oh, Jelly-Belly, you never change, do you? Always clumsy; good thing I was here to save you this time, huh?" He sputters out between his heaving bouts of laughter. He hoists me over his shoulder and takes off out the door in half-run, me screaming my head off and pounding his back to make him put me down.

Outside is an abandoned shopping cart that he unceremoniously places me in, my feet hanging over the edge. "I'm gonna take you for a ride now, Sugar!" He bellows while driving me around the parking lot in the cart in a dizzying speed. "Whooo hoooo!" I can't decide whether to laugh or puke! It is so funny, and so typically Jasper, but my drunken stomach can't really handle this right now.

"Jazz, stop! I'm gonna throw up, stop now, please!" I shout as loud as I can. Slowly the cart comes to a stop, and Jasper hoists me up from my awkward seating. He steadies me with his arms around my waist and gives me a sweet kiss on my nose. "As fun as that was, I am too drunk to handle that right now, Baby," I let him know, "I think we should head up to bed now, and sleep this off before our trip tomorrow."

"You're right – four hours in a car with a hangover isn't gonna be funny – and you puking is a sight I can live without seeing ever again!" Jasper laughs, clearly remembering our first drinking experiments in his tree house when we were thirteen. He has held my hair a few times while I returned my meals in the woods behind our houses. He grabs my hand and we go inside to my room again.

Since Beck is gone for the night, we have it all to ourselves and as soon as the door clicks shut behind us, Jasper is pressing me up against the door, kissing my neck. His soft lips explore every inch of my skin and he continues down, kissing my clavicles, letting his tongue run along the expanse of each of them. Meanwhile his hands are busy getting acquainted with my breasts – softly kneading; caressing the outer swells of them, carefully avoiding my rock hard nipples. I can't help but moan, while pulling out his hairband so I can let my fingers back in those wonderful curly locks again.

He kisses down my cleavage, as far as he can reach for the fabric, giving the top of my breasts small licks, sweetly peppering them with kisses. He is so tender and loving, while still letting his desire for me shine through. I've never felt so cherished and wanted in all of my life. He is whispering his adoration for me, alternating with the kissing. "So gorgeous – never dreamed I would get you – love your taste – love your scent – love you, Bella." He lifts his head and kisses me hungrily on my mouth, gripping my lips between his, begging for access by licking the seam of my lips. I am only too happy to comply, eager to taste him again. Our tongues tangle and play – he is a phenomenal kisser, and I can't help but wonder what else he can do with that talented tongue. The idea sends a wave of heat through me and I can feel my underwear getting damp.

My hands glide down his broad back and I untuck his shirt, eagerly finding the smooth skin underneath. I can't wait to get it off of him, really feel him against me. He raises his arms as I pull up his shirt, allowing me to discard it and only breaking the kiss for the few seconds it takes me to pull it over his head. His hands also wander under the hem of my tops, feeling the skin of my sides for the first time. I also allow him to remove them – now only in my jeans and bra I'm more exposed than I've ever been with a guy. With anybody else, this would have lead me to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but with Jasper I feel completely safe and at ease. He looks adoringly at me, whispering how beautiful he thinks I am. I'm a melted puddle by his sweet words, so caring and adorable; his hair a mess, his lips swollen and pink and his eyes glowing in the faint light.

I lead him to my small twin-sized bed and let him sit against the headboard with his legs stretched out in front of him. I straddle them carefully, mindful of the rather prominent bulge beneath his belt buckle. Wow, I guess he's well endowed – not that I have anything to measure against, since I never dreamed of being in this situation with Mike, and with Edward it stopped before we ever got that far. Jazz's chest is proudly on display in this position, and what a chest it is! Defined pec's, begging to be licked, with just a tiny patch of dark blond chest hair in the middle, taut abs with a cute inwards belly-button over a slim happy trail leading directly underneath his buckle. Not to mention the clearly defined 'V' over his hip bones. Yum! I guess he wasn't exaggerating in his latest letter. Another tattoo takes me by surprise. In black handwriting, just above his left hipbone, it says "I'm lost…" I make a mental note to ask him about the significance of that later.

I can't help myself; I have to lick those abs! I start out by peppering his collar bones with butterfly kisses and small licks, just like he did to me, before moving towards his right pectoral muscle. I swirl my tongue around his hardened dark brown nipple, causing him to buck his hips and moan. Mmmm I like that reaction! I kiss my way over to the other one, giving it the same loving treatment, once again gaining the desired reaction to my actions. He's very responsive, holding my hips and giving them a tight squeeze. I let my tongue follow the grooves down to his stomach – I have to have a little taste. Each washboard abdominal muscle gets a lot of loving, before I sit up again, crashing my mouth on his. His left hand buries itself in my hair, holding my head in place while we kiss once again. His right hand has found my left breast, inching closer and closer to my straining nipple. If he doesn't touch them soon, I'm going to explode!

Finally his thumb and forefinger pinches my nipple gently, rolling it. I break free from our kiss with a gasping moan and arch my back, begging for more. He looks at me with half-lidded eyes, clearly just as turned on as I am. "You like that, Darlin'? You want more?" He asks me huskily. I can't form coherent words right now, so I just nod. "Can I remove your bra then, Darlin'? I really want to feel your skin, taste your sweet rosebuds." His southern drawl has really come out to play now. I guess I found a fourth instance where he can't hide it; extremely turned on Jasper. "Please." I beg eager to feel his skin on mine.

He releases my hair and deftly undoes the clasp on my back, causing the straps from my bra to fall to my upper arms. Gently he removes them and sets the puppies free. He gasps slightly, murmuring under his breath how fantastic tits I have. I can't help but chuckle – he is sweet and romantic, but still such a guy. After a short pause to admire my tits, he cups them gently in his large, calloused hands. Expertly rolling my nipples, he dives in and sucks on one of them. An electric tingling sensation shoots through me, directly connecting to my clit. I hadn't the slightest idea that this would feel so good! My mouth falls open, and I buck my hips against his straining bulge, eliciting another moan and buck from him. Oh My God, this feels amazing! I have never been this turned on in my life, and I just want more.

He moves his head to my other nipple and rolls the other with wet fingertips, while his free hand grips my hip and starts to guide my movements against him. It's a steady, gliding rhythm, hitting both of us in exactly the right spots. I'm a sweaty, moaning, horny mess and I can't control myself at all – tension is building and the tingling sensation in my crotch keeps building. Jasper licks and sucks my breasts, my neck, and my earlobe and finally kisses me fully on my mouth again. I gasp and grind on him uncontrollably, seeking both our releases. Finally, the coil in my belly releases, white spots dance behind my eyelids and I scream out, "Jazz! Oh God, Jazz!" before I slump against him. The moment I catch my breath, Jasper releases a grunt and a groan while going completely rigid beneath me. I guess he saw God too.

"Bella," he says, breathlessly, "that was amazing. You are so amazing. God, I love you!"

"Yes it was," I reply, equally amazed, "I love you too, Jazz. So much."

He gently lifts me off his legs and to his side, turning over to face me. He wraps his strong arms around me, caressing my cheek softly with his long fingers; tips calloused from years of guitar playing. He is studying my face, not talking, and just watching me. Adoringly he kisses my forehead, my eyelids, the tip of my nose, before brushing his lips gently on mine. "When I was away," he starts, "I read this quote that really nailed it for me: 'Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are it might have been', in a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier. When I read that, I knew that I had to make a decision. That I had to either carry on as usual with you just as a friend, fulfilling that quote, or I had to take a chance and tell you. I couldn't continue in limbo – I couldn't live that poem, saying that it might have been. I didn't want to wake up in an old folks home when I was eighty and never know if we could have had something. I decided to risk it all in order to win the greatest prize I'll ever win. I risked our friendship to gain you! And no matter what happens, I'll never regret it, Darlin'. You've made me the happiest man alive today. Thank you."

Tears are streaming down my cheeks, when he is finished with his declaration. I can't help myself – I am bubbling inside with all the unsaid emotions build up over seven years of pining, and now he just confirmed that he wants me just as much. "Jazz, I'll be forever grateful to you for taking that chance. I've been in love with you for so long, but too much of a coward to act on it. I'm so happy that you dared! I'm ecstatic that I finally have you. I'll never let you go now – I love you with all of my heart and I'll never regret it either. And I'll always be your friend too, no matter what. We were friends first, and I want to keep us friends as well as lovers. Don't you agree?"

"Yes, Darlin', I want that too; the best of both worlds." He smiles adoringly at me, dimples out again. I can't resist kissing them. "Should we get ready for bed? I really need to clean up the mess in my boxers," He laughs at me, "devil woman." I blush at this, "Sorry, let me get up and we can change for bed."

We get out of the bed and grab our individual sleepwear and toilet kits before starting towards the bathroom. I've pulled his shirt over my head and Jazz walks shirtless out the door, gaining many admiring looks along the hallway from my female co-inhabitants. In the bathroom, we each change in a stall, before brushing our teeth side by side, smiling like goofs through the toothpaste. Back in my room, we settle on the bed on our sides. I curl into his chest, nuzzling his chest hair with my nose and resting my head on his bicep. His hand has found purchase on my hip and our legs tangle together under my comforter. His nose is in my hair, and he sighs deeply. "Goodnight, Darlin'. I love you."

"Good night, Jazz. I love you too. So much." With that, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, safely wrapped in the protecting arms of my love.

**Please please please, let me know what you think! *wipes sweat from brow***


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Update already! And again, a MASSIVE chapter, even longer than the last one! Hope you'll like it!**

**MASSIVE THANKS TO MY BETA's Bewiched and jmj3 - I FREAKIN' LOVE YA, GIRLS!**

**On other news, I can announce that one of my beta's and I are working on a collab - it's gonna be very different. Funny, dramatic, smutty and untraditional! Pairings? Almost every conceivable one.. LOL.. If you're interested, add me to your authors alerts! Don't think it will be too long before we post something :-D Check out her E/B story too; jmj3 is her name here on FFn.**

**SM owns - I just make them do smutty things and sing songs...**

Chapter 11

I wake up the next morning to the feeling of someone nuzzling my hair and playing lightly with my fingers. It's not an unpleasant feeling at all – on the contrary! As I regain consciousness all my memories from the day before come rushing back; Jasper. Kissing Jasper, making out with Jasper, loving Jasper.

I inhale deeply and find that his wonderful scent surrounds me, enhanced by sleep and bed warmth – delicious! Also, I discover, rather unpleasantly, that his dog-tags are directly under my cheek, leaving an imprint on it. So apparently, I'll walk around with his social security number, blood type, religion and name on my face for the morning. Not that I mind being marked by him, but I would have preferred it to be less conspicuous!

"Good mornin', Darlin'" His voice rumbles through his broad chest, rough with sleep, as soon as he discovers that I'm awake. He kisses my hair sweetly and continues to play with my fingertips; drawing patterns on my palm and weaving his fingers lightly with mine. The arm he has under me moves slightly and I raise my head to set it free and to look at his face.

He's absolutely gorgeous in the faint morning light, his dark blond hair in a tousled halo around his head, his eyes slightly droopy, but still shining with happiness. They crinkle in the corners as his smile broadens, before he dips down to kiss me sweetly on my mouth. I allow it, but refuse to deepen the kiss. "What's wrong," he asks, "why won't you give me a _real_ good morning kiss?"

"Morning breath." I reply with my hand over my mouth. That makes him laugh; "I don't care – mine must be just as bad. Just let me kiss my girl and wish her a proper good mornin'!" He continues to kiss me again, this time gaining access with his insisting tongue. It quickly becomes heated, as our tongues play and massage each other, exploring every tooth and crevice. He lightly takes my bottom lip between his teeth and tugs on it, running his tongue over it to soothe the slight sting. His warm hands roam my thighs and cup my ass cheeks, carefully running his fingers under the hem of my sleep shorts.

I can feel his arousal through his thin pajama pants, insistently poking my stomach and I can't help but moan at the sensations he brings out in me. I let my own hands wander on his smooth back and trace the waist band over his ass. Oh, what a tight and delicious ass he has! I let my fingers slip into his boxers to get a decent grip on it. His cheeks are smooth and muscular and I relish in the feeling. He responds by bucking slightly against me, getting me really acquainted with his prominent erection. I can't help but wonder how it would feel in my hands – I gather that I'll have to use both hands to reach around it, it feels that big!

His hands have found their way up under my shorts and he caresses my ass, careful not to touch my pussy directly. I love it, but I want more. I've never been so wanton in my life, and I simply ache to feel his touch. I can feel my pussy getting wetter and wetter and hitch my right leg over his hip, allowing him access to my most intimate place. He is quick on the uptake and immediately lets long fingers find my pussy, gently stroking over my wetness. "Oh, Darlin', you're so wet for me," he moans as soon as he discovers that, "can I touch you? Like, really touch you?"

I nod in response, already panting with desire. As soon as he registers, his fingers find their way in between my folds, gliding through the slickness and expertly finding my nub. He traces light circles around it, never really touching it directly but teasing, playing, coaxing the moans out of me. When he deems me ready, he lets his long middle finger slip into my opening, searching and gentle. Holy shit, it feels good! No showerhead could live up to this – I pant and gasp, completely at his mercy. His finger curls inside me, while his thumb finds my clit, rubbing light and insisting circles on it while he fingerfucks me. He's still kissing me, but I am too caught up with the delightful sensations to properly respond, so he moves to my neck, licking it and sucking on the joint between my neck and shoulder.

I feel my whole nether region tightening, feel the muscles inside me clench around his finger and he feels it too. "Oh, I can feel you milking my finger Darlin' – are you close? Can't fucking wait to feel that tight slick pussy around my cock! Would you like that? Imagine it's my cock in you, Sugar, pounding that sweet pussy." He's quite the dirty talker, not that I'm surprised, Jazz is verbose in everything he does, and it's a real turn-on. Soon I'm exploding around his fingers, gushing liquid all over his hand. I sag against him, completely spent and watch as he retracts his fingers, only to clean them with his mouth. He hums and obviously enjoys the taste of me. "You want to taste, how sweet you are, Sugar?" he says with a glint of mischief in his eyes and proceeds to kiss me, sharing my own taste with me.

He is still very much turned on, I can tell from his cock still poking me. I take a chance and let my hand slip from his ass to the front. Tentatively, I let my fingers feel the smooth, warm skin of his dick. It's much much softer than I expected. Like velvet over steel, the skin glides easily over the head. I can feel some liquid at the tip- it must be precum - and use my fingers to distribute it over the head, eliciting a stuttering moan from him. His eyes glide shut and he throws back his head in bliss. "Tell me what to do, Jazz. I've never done this before." I ask him.

"Just, glide the skin up and down, like you're doing. And twist your wrist a little on the down take…" he trails off, unable to say much else. I continue what I'm doing, experimenting a little with twists and running my thumb over the head. He enjoys that very much, and I start to kiss his chest, nibbling on his nipples and tracing his pec's with my tongue. His hips buck into my hand, setting a slightly faster pace and he moans loudly "Goddammit, Darlin', feels so good.. Gonna cum soon. Oh my god, Baby, yes, fuck me with your hand." Suddenly his body goes rigid and I feel his warm jizz fill the palm of my hand – he lets out his loudest moan yet, and yells out "BELLA!" before he collapses, gasping for breath.

I remove my hand from his cock, unsure what to do with the handful of jizz I am holding. I bring it to my face, curious to study it. It looks like glazing for a cake, white and see-through, slightly sticky. I wonder what it tastes like. He seemed to enjoy my juices – maybe I'll enjoy his as well? I carefully stick out my tongue, letting it barely touch my palm. I look up, as I hear Jasper's breathing hitch, and meet his gaze. "Holy shit, Bella – that is so hot. You, tasting my jizz without a grimace!" I grin at him – it doesn't taste too bad; a little salty with a hint of chlorine? Mostly it's just salty and warm.

He grabs my face and kisses me hard, tasting himself on me like I did before on him. After the kiss, he gets up and grabs his discarded shirt from the night before; handing it to me so I can clean up the worst from my hand. His grin is permanently plastered to his face when he looks at me. "So, do you wanna get cleaned up and get out of here? If we're going to be in Forks by a decent hour, we really should get going soon."

"Sure – let me just grab some clothes and we'll hit the showers." I reply, returning his grin.

-LFAFL-

After we've showered and dressed, we quickly pack up our things and run to the parking lot, eager to get going. We make a stop at Starbucks to grab coffee and muffins to eat on the road and then we're off towards Forks. Jasper's driving again, since we agreed to switch after lunch. As soon as we're clear of the city and on the high way, he grabs my hand, tracing idle circles on my palm. I'm in charge of the radio, as always, perusing his IPod playlists. Suddenly, I come across a playlist named 'Jelly-Belly' and can't help but chuckle a little. He's named a playlist after me? Curious, I open it to see what kind of music is there and almost start to cry. Every single song he's sent me is on there, plus all the rest of my favorites and a lot of love ballads I haven't heard before. Each one of those songs tells a story about how he felt when we were apart. Each song tells me, how much in love with me he really is.

I know my Jasper, and verbose as he is, he's always been more comfortable with music than conversation. He's like an emotion-radar, picking up every mood in the people around him, easily influencing it and enhancing it, but when it comes to his own emotions, he's uncomfortable with words; always turning to music. I guess that's why he's so massively talented too – he's perfected it into an art form, this way of communicating.

"Jazz, I'm touched! You made a playlist for me? " I throw him a teasing jibe for this.

"Of course I did. I had to have something to listen to on those cold, lonely nights!" He throws me a wink and makes a salacious gesture with his hand, like he's jerking off. I bark out a laugh at this. Jazz is such a kaleidoscopic personality. He's sweet and loving one moment; a typical 19 year old guy the next.

"Oh, I can imagine. Those arm muscles must have gotten quite a work-out in that bunk next to Riley and Marcus – did they join in on the action`?" I snark back at him – that's how we've always been. Crass jokes and lewd comments, interspersed with warm hugs, friendly fights, deep conversations and just companionable silences. It's so good to know that hasn't changed, even if our relationship status has. Alice was always extremely jealous of our easy banter – she just couldn't penetrate that tight bond, no matter how much she tried.

"Yeah, sure – it's called 'don't ask – don't tell', and that's why we live in barracks – to keep us from getting' too lonely." He answers with a chuckle. "So, I talked to Eric, Tyler and Jerad the other day – they're all gonna be home this weekend too," He starts, "Ty would talk to his old man about setting up our gear tonight in the Bar and Grille, so we could jam a little, if you're up to it?" Eric, Ty and Jerad had a garage band with Jazz in our high school days, and occasionally would perform at Ty's parent's place; the local pub.

"Sure, Baby – that sounds like fun! Wonder who else will be there? If any of the old gang is back in town." I respond, genuinely excited about a night of music and reminiscing. I've missed it. I just hope they won't coax me into singing, as they always try to. I hate being on stage, even though I know that I actually have an alright singing voice, especially when we do duets.

"Dunno, we'll just have to wait and see – and don't think you'll get out of singing for me tonight!" His eyes are alight with mischief and I know I'm screwed. There's no way, I'm getting out of this tonight. I better start thinking about a song that I know by heart. It occurs to me that I could choose something to let Jasper know how I feel about him. He's been pouring his heart out to me these last months through his attached songs in the emails – now, I can repay the favor. I contemplate what to choose, when suddenly the perfect song comes on the stereo. Yes, of course! And I've always loved that song – it's a classic, from our parent's youth, but it says it so perfectly.

-LFAFL-

We pull into the Whitlock driveway midafternoon, greeted by the hoarse barking of Jasper's old Labrador retriever; Skunk. Yes, it's an awful name, but very appropriate. When he was a little puppy, Jasper got him for his 9th birthday. He couldn't think of a name for him right away, and we took him out in the backyard to play with him. He got away from us and ran straight into the forest, where he encountered an unfortunate surprise before we had a chance to get him! Yes, you guessed it, he ran into a skunk.

Rascal whelp that he was, he couldn't leave well enough alone, but had to play with it. But the skunk didn't want to play – it mistook the puppy behavior for a threat and sprayed the poor mutt thoroughly. Jasper and I unfortunately arrived just in the line of fire, so all three of us got a less than pleasant odor out of the encounter and had to go home to Momma Whitlock in a crestfallen manner. Safe to say that I can stand neither the taste nor smell of tomato juice to this day. But that is the sordid tale of how Skunk got his name.

Momma Whitlock greets us at the doorway with a huge smile on her face. Her name is really Diane, but everybody calls her Momma Whitlock, even though she lost the Texas drawl long ago. She embraces us both in her slender arms, but no less warm embrace. She's a tiny woman, with platinum blonde hair and a bird-like way about her; always flitting around, never really at rest. She's very warm and motherly and I love her to death – my own mom left when I was a baby and has never really looked back. I visited her for a couple of weeks every summer, but harebrained as she is, she has never been a very stable person in my life. Momma Whitlock was the one that made sure I had pink ribbons for my hair, that my lunchbox was adorned with Strawberry Shortcake and that my pencils were sharpened.

Since Jasper is her only child, she has had plenty of love to pass around, and a scrawny little girl next door was lucky enough to benefit from that. I hold on to her neck so tight, squeezing my eyes shut, hoping to hold back the tears that I don't want her to see. She senses it though, shushing me quietly, "Shhhh, Baby Girl, I've got you. You're home. Shhhh…" I break down sobbing at that, releasing all the tension of the past months that I didn't even realize that I held on to, or where it came from. I guess I've missed home more than I allowed myself to think about, and now it all comes rushing forward. It feels so good to let it all go and be in the arms of a caring mother figure and the sobbing quickly dissipates along with the tension.

Jasper has stood back a bit and looks at me all worried and caring. He holds out his hand to me, and I take it, gliding into his embrace without even thinking about it. He kisses me softly and asks if I'm alright, which I confirm with a nod and a kiss in return. Momma Whitlock smiles even broader at this and starts to clap her tiny hands. "I knew it! I knew it! As soon as you stepped out of the car, I got suspicious – Ooooh, I'm so happy. Thank you, children, oh, thank you!" She's all expletives and giddiness by the sight of her two babies together – I guess she's always wanted us to be. "Come in, come in – have a glass of iced tea! And tell me all about this new development. When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me, Son? Tsk tsk tsk.." She trails off, shaking her head at him in admonishment.

We step inside the large, warm, old-fashioned kitchen and sit down at Momma's breakfast bar, still holding hands. She pours us each a glass of her delicious sweet tea and sets out a plate of chocolate chip cookies. "Tell me everything! Well, maybe not everything, but the parent-appropriate details at least." She chides, sitting down across from us with a bowl of apples and a peeler. Jasper smiles adoringly at his mother and starts to tell his side of the story. "Well, Ma, as you know, I've been head over heels for this one for months! And I didn't know what the hell to do about it. So, I recorded some music and attached to all my emails I've sent, just to clue her in a bit, ya know? Didn't work, at least she didn't say anything. Well, last night, we went out to eat, and I just couldn't keep my trap shut anymore so I started blurting it out. This clueless chick," at this he pushes me good-naturedly, "thought I was talking about some other girl! As if, pshaw – and starts to panic all of a sudden! I then blurt out that it's her – always has been, always will be, goddammit – and she just gets up off her seat and kisses me in the middle of the restaurant. After that she sits back down and eats her dinner like nuthin's happened! I could just sit there like a damned cod-fish with my trap gaping, not knowing what to think!"

"Hey! I told you that I loved you, too, Jasper Dean Whitlock! Don't you go forgetting 'bout that!" I protest and throw in a little twang – can't help it when I'm in the Whitlock house. It's contagious. Momma Whitlock smiles with tears in the corners of her eyes at that, and looks at us adoringly. It feels so good to tell her, to share our love with her. She's been nothing but supportive of us, no matter what trouble we've gotten ourselves into. Sometimes it came with a well-earned earful, but always supportive. Jasper bends his head down to me and kisses me square on my mouth. "I love you so much, Isabella Marie Swan, and I'll never forget that you told me that. Ever." Oh, wow. Melted. Incoherent. Can't think. Momma Whitlock laughs at my dumbfounded expression and shoos us out of her kitchen, laughter following us up the stairs to the first floor.

-LFAFL-

When we reach his room we take our usual seats. The bean bag is mine! My precious! Jazz sits in his comfy recliner where he can easily sit and pick at his guitar. It's just like always, and I'm at ease, at home, safe.

"Bella, where do you see this going? I mean, between us? I know I love you and don't want to be without you, but I have to go back to base tomorrow. I won't have leave very often – and once I'm finished with training, I'll be stationed somewhere with no guarantee that you can follow me. Do you really want to invest in that? Invest in me?" He asks me with a hint of worry and sadness in his tone.

"Jazz, I know, Baby… It won't be easy, but I don't feel like I've really got a choice. I can't live without you – I won't! It would tear me apart either way. It's gonna be real tough to get through the next four years, with me at college and you in the air force, but I'll do anything I can to make it work! You can come see me when you have leave; I'll go see you on holidays and vacations as long as you're land-based. Once I graduate, if I get a job as an editor, I can do that from anywhere. Other carrier options I'll have to look into when we come to that – but trust me, I don't regret you. Not even a little bit. And yes, I'm sure that I want to invest in you – I can't imagine anything else!" I try to reassure him. It breaks my heart to see my cocky, larger-than-life Jasper being insecure about ME of all people. He's following his dream, and nothing should take him away from that! And I'll do my damned best to give him the security he needs for that.

His posture lightens up and he relaxes his shoulders again, walking over to me on my bean-bag chair. He sets his knees on either side of my hips, effectively straddling me and cradles my face in his big hands. Oh so faintly he brushes his lips on mine, sighing "I love you, so much. Thank you for trusting in us."

We exchange places, and I sit on his lap while he sits in the bean-bag, playing with my hair. I lean into his chest, resting my head on his shoulder. For a long while, we just sit there, listening to music and enjoying each other's nearness. We are in our own, perfect little bubble. I play with his dog-tags, just visible through the v of his shirt, and can't resist undoing one more button. I let my fingers play with his chest hair, exploring his chest. It's all quite innocent, but I can feel him grow harder underneath me, and he's squirming around a little to alleviate the pressure from me on his cock. His fingers have been gently rubbing just below my breasts on the bottom of my ribcage, but now he starts to venture upwards, caressing the underside of my breasts. I turn around to straddle him, kissing him hungrily and rubbing my pussy on his erection. We both moan out at the sensation.

"DINNER'S READY, COME AND GET IT!" an unmistakable sing-song voice hollers up the stairs. Both of us groan, disappointed about the interruption and chagrined by the thought of coming down for dinner, looking freshly fucked with sex hair, glowing cheeks and bruised lips. Oh well, Momma certainly won't mind, and Jasper's dad won't have a clue – he still sees us as a couple of kids, incapable of doing anything remotely adult, no less sexual.

Jasper's dad, Daniel Peter Whitlock, is as absent-minded as they come. He's a Ph.D. in history, specializing in the civil war. He's totally absorbed with his work, writing and researching – always locked in his study. He's as nice and docile as they come though, just not very present in Jasper's life. Never have been, but every once in a while he pops out of his dungeon and gives some pretty sound advice. One thing's for sure, if you need him, you can count on his help for anything! Just don't expect him to discover that you need him without a little help.

We sit down at the dinner table, a little flustered. Momma Whitlock grins smugly and Dr. Whitlock doesn't notice. He greets us with a 'welcome home, children', and then concentrates on his meal. He's not one for small talk – he's not unkind, just socially inept, always pre-occupied. We chat about college, flight training, and our plans for the evening – all very amicable and nice. The atmosphere is homey and warm, and I realize how much I missed this. The Whitlock home is more home to me than Charlie's house ever was, even though I miss him too. I get to see him tomorrow. We already agreed that I'll spend the night here – Momma don't mind at all, and I'm a legal adult so Charlie can't protest.

After dessert – the lovely homemade apple pie Momma made while we drank tea – we excuse ourselves to get ready for the jam-night at the Bar and Grille. Jasper called Ty earlier and confirmed and the guys' have been down there this afternoon to set up. We dress casually, just jeans, a top and my chucks for me – Jasper throws on jeans, and old band t-shirt with a button down over and his cowboy boots. He has his hair in a hairband again and ties a red bandana around his head; my god, he is so hot! I could just eat him raw! Maybe I'll get to 'eat' something later, if I work up the nerve? The thought makes me smile to myself.

Jasper grabs my hand and we're out the door. We opt to walk to the bar, since Forks is such a small town with everything within walking distance – and if I know Ty right, he'll have sneaked a couple of beers for us in to the backroom. The night air is cool and refreshing and I just relish having my girl fantasies come true, walking down the street hand in hand with Jazz.

The band is standing on the sidewalk, having a smoke while they wait for us to arrive. Jerad spots us first and lets out a surprised 'What the fuck!' at the sight of us holding hands. Jazz can't resist and dips down to lay a smacking kiss on me, right in front of them, effectively marking his turf. They all look utterly confused by us kissing – they know us as Jelly-Belly and Jizzper, BFF's but nothing else. We've actually spent years vehemently denying any shady business going on, and now we show up as a couple? I can relate to their confusion. "Yup, finally conquered the fair maiden," Jasper says to them, "so keep your dirty hands to yourself!" His face is almost split in half by his grin. "Let's go inside and get our rock on, peeps!"

They all agree and we head inside. They are unusually quiet, but I get my hugs anyway. Inside, there's a surprise I didn't expect – Ben and Angie are sitting at a table, drinking a soda and sharing a plate of onion rings! "ANGIE, GIRLIE! So good to see ya!" I scream and run over and hug her senseless – I've missed my girl so much! She responds in kind, squeezing the life outta me. "Sweets, Oh My God – you're here! You didn't tell me you were gonna be here this weekend!"

"What's this?" she looks between Jasper and me with a knowing grin, "Did she finally cave and come clean, Jazz?" she asks him. "No, actually, I came clean to her." Jasper remarks while squeezing my shoulders. "Fuck me!" she exclaims, "I knew it! I knew you were head over heels for her!" She starts clapping her hands and bouncing, doing a fabulous Alice-impression. "Sit down, Bella, and tell me everything."

Ben and Jasper shake hands and do their typical man-hug thing, clapping each other on the back, before Jazz and the band head towards the small stage, picking up their instruments and tuning them. I relate the whole story to Angela whose eyes go shiny with tears by it. She's so happy for me, I can tell.

A feedback screech from the microphone makes us turn around and look at the stage. Jasper is standing in the front, looking all sorts of gorgeous, adjusting the mic stand to his fit considerable height. He looks at me and winks, before concentrating on his task again. In a matter of minutes, he speaks in the phone announcing the band.

"Good evening, everyone, and welcome to Forks Bar and Grille. We are the Flying Forks and we are so happy to be back here to entertain you this evening!" I burst into laughter, remembering the drunken night when we came up with that ridiculous band name. "We would like to start out with a dedication; to Bella Swan – star in a lot of fantasies and my girlfriend." He winks at me again, as I blush from the tip of my toes to the roots of my hair. The small crowd whoops and hollers at this.

Jasper grabs his guitar; fine tunes it, and strikes the first chord. I am spellbound by his presence up there, even though I must have seen it at least a hundred times before. His slightly husky baritone voice rings out with the intro, and I'm swept off my feet.

He is singing Heaven, by Bryan Adams.

_Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years  
>There was only you and me<br>We were young and wild and free_

Now nothin' can take you away from me  
>We've been down that road before<br>But that's over now  
>You keep me comin' back for more<p>

Baby you're all that I want  
>When you're lyin' here in my arms<br>I'm findin' it hard to believe  
>We're in heaven<br>And love is all that I need  
>And I found it there in your heart<br>It isn't too hard to see  
>We're in heaven<p>

Oh - once in your life you find someone  
>Who will turn your world around<br>Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Yeah - nothin' could change what you mean to me  
>Oh there's lots that I could say<br>But just hold me now  
>Cause our love will light the way<p>

N' baby you're all that I want  
>When you're lyin' here in my arms<br>I'm findin' it hard to believe  
>We're in heaven<br>And love is all that I need  
>And I found it there in your heart<br>It isn't too hard to see  
>We're in heaven<p>

I've been waitin' for so long  
>For something to arrive<br>For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true  
>Through the good times and the bad<br>Yeah - I'll be standin' there by you

I feel a tear leaking down my cheek – he sings that song with so much emotion, looking directly at me the entire time. I can feel the sincerity in the words, even if they aren't his own but borrowed. The lyrics fit so perfectly and I'm totally swept off my feet. He lets his voice linger on the closing notes, and I wipe away my tears while blowing him an air-kiss. He makes a motion like he's catching it and putting it in his shirt pocket – what a goof!

I hear a faint crash behind me, and turn my head towards the bar – Uh oh, Alice. She is standing at the long bar, shooting daggers at me with her eyes, a smashed glass lying at her feet. She doesn't say anything, just turn on her heel and stalks out – thank god! I don't think I could handle her right now.

The band continues to play some more rock ballads and Angie and I just sit back and enjoy the show. The guys put on quite a show, switching instruments and goofing around. At one time, they ask the audience for a keyword or phrase, and simply improvise a song on the spot. The phrase they got? Afraid of the dark. The performance is intense, and I get totally lost in the predatory way Jasper looks at me while performing. He is so incredibly hot up there – I could just lick him! The sound quality is less than stellar; unfortunately, somebody messed with the amplifier settings.

After about an hour, the band takes a break and we all head into the back room. We hang around drinking a couple of beers and just goofing around – I'm sitting in Jasper's lap when Ty decides to spill a beer down my shirt. Luckily, Jasper's got a white button down over a band t-shirt, so he lends it to me, so I don't have to walk around all wet. Ty apologizes, but not before Jazz has thrown him upside down over the couch and tickled him senseless – Jasper has a certain tickling technique that we all have suffered under at some point, and nobody pities Ty – they are too busy laughing their asses off.

After the break, I move towards the table where Ang, Ben and I sat before, but Jasper grabs my arm and drags me up the stage, despite my protests. I knew this would happen, and luckily I come prepared. Jerad asks me what I want to sing, and I whisper it in his ear, asking him to not say anything to Jasper – I want this to be a surprise for him. Jerad nods and winks, grabs Jazz's guitar and shoos him off the stage. He sits on my abandoned seat and crosses his arms in front of him, raising an eyebrow at me. Fortunately, the band and I have had many jam-sessions, so they know me and I know them. Ty counts out the rhythm with his drum sticks, and they start to play. I inhale deeply, close my eyes for a second and start to sing. As I sing the first word, I lock my gaze with Jasper's, trying to convey how much I love him.

_A shooting star fell down to earth  
>Lightning cracked the sky<br>Something weird is happening  
>Something I can't deny<em>

A strange kind of magic  
>Running through my brain<br>Feel I'm in heaven  
>Or going insane<p>

'Cause everytime we touch  
>I get this feeling<br>And everytime we kiss  
>I swear I could fly<br>Can't you feel my heart beat fast  
>I want this to last<br>Need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch  
>I feel this static<br>And everytime we kiss  
>I reach for the sky<br>Can't you hear my heart beat so  
>I can't let you go<br>Want you in my life

The wind was like a hurricane  
>Storm clouds filled the sky<br>I heard a crash of thunder  
>The earth shook in reply<br>A strange kind of magic  
>Running through my brain<br>Feel like I'm in heaven  
>Or going insane<p>

'Cause everytime we touch  
>I get this feeling<br>And everytime we kiss  
>I swear I could fly<br>Can't you hear my heart beat fast  
>I want this to last<br>Need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch  
>I feel this static<br>And everytime we kiss  
>I reach for the sky<br>Can't you hear my heart beat so  
>I can't let you go<br>Want you in my life

I let the final note die, still holding Jasper's gaze. His eyes are brimming with tears, but he quickly shakes it off, lighting up in a beaming smile. He jumps off his seat; half runs to the stage and grabs me around the waist. Still holding me up in the air, he lays the most passionate of kisses on me before letting me down. He then grabs the mic and asks for a round of applause for me. I blush again, but wave graciously at the small crowd, before jumping down and finding my seat. I'm hot in the cheeks, but try to shake it off and chat a little with Angie, while the band continues to play.

After another hour they call it quits for the evening and start to disassemble the setup, packing down their gear. It's all stashed in Jerad's shed, since they can't bring it with them. They load up the trailer, and we all say our goodbyes for the night. The guys all hug me and compliment my song, before we part ways.

Strolling along the quiet street, holding Jasper's hand, I can't remember a time, where I've been more content and happy with my life. I look up at him; his profile enhanced in the moonlight and I am stricken by his beauty. As we walk up the driveway to his house, I can feel the simmering anticipation in my stomach. I am sleeping beside him again tonight. In a big bed, on a floor to ourselves, with no-one to listen or interrupt. Momma and Mr. Whitlock have gone to bed ages ago, I know from previous experiences, and they will not bother us at all. They don't even know that we share a bed, like we've done a million times before. They think I bunk down in the bed and that Jasper takes his couch. I am not ready to lose my virginity yet, no matter how much I love him, but I'm not sure how to tell him this. My stomach revolts with nerves and I feel a little queasy.

Suddenly, I spot a figure on the porch, sitting on the steps. I can't make out who it is in the darkness, but it's a tiny person. As we get closer, the person stands up. It's Alice! What the hell is she doing here at this hour? She walks towards us with determination in her steps. When she reaches us, she stands directly in front of Jasper, and looks up at him with fire in her eyes. Oh, she's pissed.

"What the hell, Jasper? Did you lie to me all of those years, when I asked about your relationship with Bella? I knew it couldn't be just the platonic friendship you claimed, I knew it! Did you two fuck behind my back all that time?" Her eyes are brimming with tears and she looks both hurt and angry. "And you Bella? You couldn't wait to get me out the door, could you? You always pined away for him, so that doesn't surprise me, but now you have to come here and flaunt it in my face? You fucking bitch!" She lifts her hand, ready to slap me, but Jasper grips her wrist.

"Listen Alice, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but believe me when I say that we NEVER did anything. I NEVER cheated on you, and we just got together yesterday – I was always faithful, always. I'm no cheater and you know it. Don't make me bring up why I broke up with you in the first place, Alice – you're not the one that should go around making accusations!" Jasper's voice is low and full of ire. He's really mad at her right now. He didn't tell me the full story of their break-up, but I can gather from his words that it had something to do with Alice cheating. "I think you should go home now and leave us alone. I'm done with you, and I told you that before I left – please respect me enough to not ever contact us again." He's mad yes, but very controlled and as always a gentleman. He would never, ever hurt someone on purpose, especially a woman. He let's go of her wrists and she pushes past us and walks down the streets. I can hear her sobbing from where we stand.

"Come on, Darlin' – let's go to bed. I've had all the excitement I can take for tonight, " he says, and grabs my hand again, leading me inside and up the stairs. "You want the bathroom first?" he asks me sweetly and I nod, getting my things. In the bathroom, my nerves act up again. How do I bring up that I'm not ready without making him feel rejected? I don't want to stop our physical relationship; I'm just not ready to go all the way. Maybe I should just tell him exactly that – he is Jasper – understanding, caring and loving. He might actually agree, even though he's a lot more experienced than I am. I take a deep breath and steel myself, before opening the door.

Jasper is waiting, already changed into his thin pajama bottoms and bare-chested. He gives my hand a little squeeze and shoots me a small smile as he passes me on the way to the bathroom. I settle down on the bed, snuggling under his pitch black down comforter, inhaling his scent that clings to the bedding. The butterflies in my stomach are still having fun, but I'm not as high strung now that I've made the decision to talk to him about waiting.

When he finishes in the bathroom, Jasper crawls under the comforter and lays his arms around me, kissing me sweetly on the nose. "Hi Darlin'," he whispers. I smile at him, and take a deep breath before saying anything. "Jasper, I think we should talk." His face falls – okay, maybe that wasn't the most elegant conversation starter – it usually signals something bad! "No, no, it's nothing bad – at least I don't think so."

"Well, what is it?" He asks a little apprehensive. "Well, I'm a virgin," I start, "and I don't think I'm ready for actual sex yet. Would you mind terribly if we wait a little with that? It's not that I want us to stop being intimate," I hurry up and say, "I like what we do, very much, but I'm just not ready for the whole thing yet. I'd like to work up to that."

He smiles adoringly at me at this. "I would like that too, Bella. I know you're a virgin; or at least I hoped you hadn't given it up to Mike Newton," he chuckles at this, "and I don't want to rush things with you. When I make love to you, it's going to mean something. It's going to be special." His eyes grow a little sad. "I wish I'd waited for you. All that time with Alice – she meant nothing, compared to what I feel for you. I should never have given her that part of me."

"Don't, Jasper. Alice was good for you for a long time, and you had a good time together. You just outgrew each other, and for that, I'm really grateful, 'cause now I got you! And it doesn't hurt that at least one of us has some experience," I snicker at that, "'cause I sure don't know what I'm doing!"

"That's not true, Darlin'. Everything you've done to me has been perfect!" He kisses me deeply and let's his tongue touch my lips, begging for entrance. I happily comply and we lay like that, just making out, for the longest time. No hands wandering, no love bites or rubbing, just kissing; deep, erotic kisses that makes my toes curl. "I'd really like to try something, if you'd let me," he says, looking me deeply in the eyes. "Okay, what is it?" I ask. "Will you let me treat you good? Show you how much I love you? Especially how much I love your taste?" he says with a wicked twinkle in his eyes. "Alright, how do you want me?" I'm not sure where he's going with this, but I trust him, and I know he will guide me to do everything just right.

He pushes my shoulder gently; making me lay on my back. Again, he kisses me while he pulls up my shirt – I let my arms follow up so he can get it over my head, giving each nipple a little lick and kiss, before he grabs the waistband of my pajama shorts. I'm left in blue lace thong; while he lets his eyes roam over my body. He sighs, muttering how beautiful he thinks I am, letting his fingers glide from my shoulders, down my sides and over my hipbones. He grasps my panties and I let him remove them, laying myself bare for him for the first time. I shiver from both nerves and anticipation – I'm really turned on and can feel the juices leaking on to my thighs – no doubt he can see it.

He groans when he sees my naked pussy – I get it waxed, because I like the feeling of being bare and never have to worry when I'm in a swimsuit. My clit is throbbing; he looks so gorgeous as he sits there on his haunches in the moonlight with his chest on display and the dog tags around his neck. I try to rub my thighs together for some friction on my wet pussy, but he grabs my thighs and separates my legs; lifting them up on his shoulders. He pushes a pillow under my butt, lifting it up some and starts to kiss from my ankle to my inner thigh, paying special attention to tendon behind my knee. When he reaches the wetness on my thigh, he licks it up, before switching to the other leg. He gives that the same treatment, and I am trembling from anticipation.

Finally, he reaches the other inner thigh and when he finishes licking that, he doesn't stop. He continues to let his soft, wet, talented tongue lick from my entrance to my clit; causing me to jerk my hips up with a gasp. It feels so good! He lays his arm across my pelvis to keep my in place before he continues to explore my folds softly. He doesn't miss a spot, licking tenderly all over my pussy, not concentrating on a single spot, but thoroughly exploring and tasting. Groaning he says, "oh my god, Bella – you taste so good! Like honey and woman and sex – I could live on your juices alone." I'm a writhing mess, trying to get him to lick my clit that he so deftly seems to avoid. After a while of licking, he closes his lips around the little nub, sucking on it while humming – I almost scream out, it feels so good, and I can feel my inner muscles desperately clenching, seeking.

Apparently, he knows exactly what I need, because he increases the pressure of his tongue on my clit, and inserts two fingers in my drenched pussy, curling them upwards towards my belly and fucks me with them. The coil inside me releases and I clamp down on his fingers, practically lifting off the bed while I scream out his name.

"JASPER, OH MY GOD, JASPER!" He gently brings me down from my climax with small, tender licks around my clit, but not directly on it – it would be far too sensitive for any direct stimulation now. I pant and moan while enjoying his wonderfully talented mouth. When he's satisfied with his work, he sits up and brings the two fingers into his mouth to lick them clean –just like this morning. His eyes are alight with pride and self-satisfaction – he looks like the cat that swallowed the canary. Instead of a yellow feather, his face is glistening with my juices. I give him an exhausted smile. I'm completely spent and all of my bones feel like rubber. He lies down beside me, and gives me a kiss. I can taste myself on him and despite my recent climax; I can feel myself getting turned on by it.

I grasp his erection through the thin material of his sleep pants, and he can't help but jerk his hips forward, seeking out friction again. "Now, I'd like to try something," I say, and peel down his pants, so I can see his cock. "I want to feel this against my pussy – what do you think about that?" His eyes light up and he gets this eager expression like a child on Christmas. "Do you mean that?" he asks me. "Of course I do!" I respond and continue to push his pants down as far as I can get. He uses his feet to push them the rest of the way. "Are you on the pill, Darlin', cause I can guarantee that I'll blow my load all over that sweet pussy," he's panting already, incredibly turned on by the idea. "Yeah, nothing to worry about," I respond, "and of course I'm clean, being a virgin and all."

"I'm clean too – got checked and tested when I joined," he tells me, positioning behind me, with my leg over his so his cock can freely slide over my drenched folds. The second his cock makes contact with me, I moan out loud; loving the feeling of his steel hard erection between my folds. He glides back and forth, the head hitting my clit on every stroke, quickly building up my climax again. His chest is flush with my back and slick with our combined sweat, reducing the friction by his movements. Soon, I cry out again in my orgasm and bring him with me. As he said he would, he blows his load all over my pussy, rubbing his jizz in my folds with his cock and making me cum once more immediately. "Holy shit!" he gasps, "That was the most intense orgasm I've ever had! Mmmmm… I love you." He nuzzles his face in my neck, giving it small kisses.

I turn my head with a satisfied grin, and kiss him deeply. "Thank you, Baby. I love you too – that was simply amazing," I let him know. He hugs me, humming happily under his breath, before he gets up to find a washcloth in the bathroom. He gently cleans me up, mindful of my sensitive clit and returns to bed after washing up himself. He lies down behind me, curling his long body entirely around me and intertwines our hands across my chest. I am completely wrapped inside his embrace and fall asleep in the blink of an eye. Feeling loved, satisfied and cherished.

**PLEASE REVIEW! I want to know what you think! And it makes me write faster ;-)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**

**So, we launched our collab! Look under my profile - its called The Extraordinarily Messy Love Life of Bella Swan - and it's all in good fun, not to be taken seriously at all! It's much more smutty than this one, I tell ya! BUT REMEMBER - It's RC17 rated, definitely! Go READ - after you finish this update, OfC.**

**On that note - enjoy! **

**SM owns - I just make them do dirty things!**

Chapter 12

I wake up at a very insistent poking in my back and snuggled in a warm embrace. It seems like we'd slept all night in the exact same position as we fell asleep in. At the thought of our late night activities, I begin to feel a little frisky and since Jasper apparently is all ready for some action, I decide to play with him a bit. I shift a little and stick out my naked ass, rubbing against his erection.

"Mmmm… What a wake-up call, Darlin', you can do that anytime you like!" I hear him respond and feel his arms tightening around me. He rubs his cock back against my ass-crack. "Good morning, baby" he says, kissing my neck. His hands move to grab my breasts and he starts to knead them, playing with my nipples that have hardened already. I moan quietly and reach back to grab his cock, sliding his foreskin carefully up and down his length. He moans and bucks against me.

Feeling bold, I want to do what I didn't had to nerve to last night. I want to taste him, feel him in my mouth. He played me so well with his tongue last night – now it's time to return the favor! I turn around in his embrace and kiss his full, pouty lips, teasing him with my tongue. My hand goes to his shoulder to push him onto his back and I kiss my way down his body, licking every muscle. As I reach his 'V', I trace it with my tongue, eliciting a gasp from him. I grab his steel hard cock and start to study it; I've never had the opportunity to just study a cock and I plan to take full advantage of this.

It's big, that much I've discovered; at least nine inches long and I can't close my fingers around him. The head is bigger than the shaft and there's a defined ridge. He's uncut, so there's foreskin to play with – I heard some girls talk about it as gross and looking like a turtle, but I think it looks natural – and it's easier to give handjobs, I imagine, since it naturally glides over the head. There are some prominent veins along the shaft – oh, I want to follow them with my tongue! So that's what I do, starting at the base and gliding all the way to the ridge around the head. He lets out a gasp and a moan at this, which emboldens me to take the head completely in my mouth, letting my tongue play around it.

He is writhing on the bed, much like I did last night, and I can tell he's trying not to buck, making me gag. I'm glad – I'd like to do this in my own pace. The thickness makes it hard to open my mouth wide enough and I'm afraid to get lock jaw, but I try to relax and get it as far in as possible. When I feel confident enough that I won't hurt him with my teeth, I begin to bob my head up and down while twirling my tongue around the head. "Oh, Baby! Yeah, it feels so good! Oh my god!" he stutters, completely blissed out. I keep up my pace and grab it around the base, moving my hand in time with my head. The other hand grabs his balls gently and I roll them carefully in my palm. I can feel them tensing up, Jasper grabs my hair and screams out "Darlin', I'm gonna cum! Move your head, sweetie."

I don't intend to, though. I tasted his jizz yesterday, and it wasn't bad. I heard that guys like when a girl swallows, and that's what I'll do. I keep up my bobbing; sucking harder and in a matter of seconds he bucks his hips up and groans. My mouth gets filled with a warm, sticky and salty portion – the worst part is the consistency, but I swallow quickly to keep up with his spurts. When he's done and start to relax, I clean off his softening cock with my mouth, until he stops me and pulls at my shoulder to get me up to his level.

"Thank you, Darlin'. You really didn't have to do that – especially the swallowing. You are so amazing. I love you!" he says, kissing me passionately. I eagerly return the kiss. The blowjob has turned me on even more and I'm eager for more. He quickly picks up on my signals and starts to knead my breast again, dipping down to grip the nipple in his teeth. I gasp out at that and he soothes the sting with his tongue, while his hand finds its way to my pussy. He parts my folds, and lets his long middle finger glide in to my drenched entrance while his thumb circles my clit. Oh, it feels incredible! The middle finger curls upward and finds a magic spot that makes me see stars and I'm already on the brink of an orgasm.

"Mmmm.. Looks like I found your G-spot, huh, Baby? Do you like that?" he says sexily, adding another finger. I can feel the muscles squeezing around his fingers, and the tingling warmth begins to spread from my pussy to my toes. Suddenly, I clamp down around him – it feels so good, but at the same time, I feel like I'm going to pee! An incredible sensation runs through me, and I can feel an abundance of liquid gushing out of me on his hand while I cry out in pleasure. Oh, this is so embarrassing! I hope I didn't pee on him, poor guy.

I blush all over, but Jasper looks extremely satisfied. "Sorry," I say. "For what? You didn't pee, Bella – you had a squirting orgasm! That was so hot! I never got a girl to do that before…" he says, looking immensely proud of himself. "A what?" I say confused, "what's that?"

"A squirting orgasm – some girls can have those, if you hid the g-spot right. It's just a clear liquid coming out while you climax, but it's incredibly hot!" He answers and dips down to kiss me. Huh. Didn't know that, but he's right. It was incredibly hot and felt fantastic! I return his sweet kiss and thank him. He smiles at me all dimply and says "anytime, Darlin'."

We lie in bed and just snuggle for a while, talking about everything and nothing. The mood is loving but somber – we both realize that this is our last day together for a long while. We probably won't see each other again before Thanksgiving, so we try to suck up this feeling as much as possible. Too soon though, we have to get up and get ready. We're meeting Charlie for brunch. I wonder how he'll react to the news. He has always regarded Jasper as his son – we've been running in and out of each other's houses since we were small and Jasper has went on many fishing trips with my dad, with or without me. But now, he has to change that view from son to son-in-law; or at least someday he will be, I hope.

Reluctantly, I tangle myself out of Jasper's embrace and give him a final kiss before I stand up. "I better hit the shower. Will you join me?"

"Of course I will! Thank you, Sweetheart!" he kisses me back and gets out of bed too.

After a nice, warm, and LONG shower, we get dressed and go downstairs to greet Momma Whitlock. We've already packed our bags and brought them with us. It wouldn't make sense to come back here after brunch, since we have to be back in Seattle on time for Jasper to catch his flight out. The thought of separating from Jasper makes me so sad and I struggle to hold back the tears. Momma notices though – she's just like her son, always in tune with people's emotions. Especially of her loved ones. She gives me a tight hug and whispers reassuringly to me. "It will work out, Sweetie, you'll see. He loves you so much; I can tell. He'll do anything for you – you just take care of the both of you now, ya hear? Love you, baby girl." She kisses my cheek sweetly and let go of me, moving to Jasper.

"Take care, baby boy. Don't fall down and don't get shot. And treat your girl like the princess she deserves to be. I love you." She hugs and kisses him too, wiping her eyes and smiles at us. "Now, shoo! Go, get out before I break down." She chuckles and smiles a final smile, before pushing us out the door. I can see her standing in the kitchen window, waving goodbye to us. I return the wave and we're off again.

-LFAFL-

Jasper parks my truck at my usual spot at Forks Diner. I am so excited to see Charlie, but at the same time I'm nervous. I've never brought a boyfriend to eat with us; Mike was terrified of my dad, being the chief of police and all, and Jasper has always been part of the family, so to speak. I can tell that Jasper's a bit nervous as well – he's swallowing hard and squeezing my hand very tightly. We look at each other and burst out laughing. This is just plain silly! It's Charlie! He loves us both, and deep down, I think he feels like Momma Whitlock; that we belong together and that neither of us could find a better match if we tried!

Jasper jumps out and runs to my side, opens my door and lifts me down. He really likes to do that, I guess. And I like him doing it, like the feel of his big hands around my waist and the little extra squeeze he gives me, when he sets me down. I reach on my toes and give him a peck on the lips – not too much, since I'm no fan of PDA. He smiles and takes my hand, walking in with me, clearly staking his claim.

Charlie is sitting in his usual booth with a cup of black coffee and the menu open. He looks up at the chime of the bell and breaks out in a smile. Then he spots our joined hands and you can literally see the wheels turning inside his head, giving him a vertical line between his eyebrows and making his moustache twitch. I know all of his tells, and he's not mad – just puzzled, trying to get the pieces to match in his head.

"Hi Dad! How are you?" I lean down and give him an awkward hug, never letting go of Jasper's hand. "I'm good, Bells. You?" he says, patting my back. He's a man of few words and not one to show his emotions, especially in public. "Great – have you ordered?" I sit down on the opposite bench, dragging Jasper with me. It's comical, the way I won't let go of him right now – this is just my dad! But I feel the need to be physically connected to Jasper right now; to draw on his strength. He chuckles under his breath over my fluster – he sees right through me.

Charlie raises an eyebrow at me; I guess he sees right through me too. He looks at Jasper and sticks out his hand for a shake. "Hello Son, how's the air force treating you? No trouble with the MP's yet?" Jasper takes his hand and shakes it firmly, giving him a broad smile. "No, no trouble. But it sure is hard to be that far away from this one." He ruffles my hair a bit and shoots me a grin and a wink, before taking his seat beside me.

My father turns to me again – still with the twitching moustache and lifted eyebrow. "Care to explain?" I know exactly what he's talking about; my flustered behavior and the fact that we came in here holding hands. I blush and stammer, "well, see, it's like this…" I trail off, not sure how to continue. How much do you tell your single father with communication issues? Especially since I'm his little girl, and he's trusted Jasper to sleep in my bed before! Will he take this as betrayal, or development?

Jasper cuts in here, saying "We're in love, simple as that. I realized when I left that she is it for me, and came home determined to make her mine. Friday night we went out for dinner and I told her. Bella told me that she returned my feelings. We've just started, Charlie. There hasn't been anything to tell before. We truly were just friends growing up. I promise you that." He holds Charlie's eyes with a steel gaze, and with sincerity and honor radiating from him. Wow. Impressive. He knows Charlie well enough to cut to the chase and be direct but polite.

Charlie bristles a little and nods. "Alright, you two have always been good kids and never given me reason not to trust you before. And she could have done a lot worse, Son. But you better treat her right, or every traffic violation you ever made will come and bite you in the ass. And I still carry a gun."

"Don't worry. I'll treat her like a princess. I love her." Jasper nods back. And that is that – both of them pick up their menu, order coffee from Lorna when she stops by the table, and begin to discuss the latest models in air crafts. I just sit there, completely dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. Did that really just happen? No drama, no fighting and disapproval? Just, I don't know - acceptance? Wow. I pick up my own menu without a word and give Jasper's hand a squeeze under the table. My God, how I love this man. My knight in shining armor. I grin to myself – not so long ago, he was my pain in the ass best friend, playing pranks on me, annoying me endlessly, hanging out on my porch or my room, playing his guitar or video games. I can't fully wrap my head around it yet, but I am so happy I could burst.

Brunch was a typical quiet affair with Charlie, with the occasional small talk about school, fishing, the air force, fishing, how Billy is doing, fishing, and then another awkward hug and goodbye, see you soon! When we reach the truck I'm practically bouncing on my feet, and Jasper just laughs at me. We settle in the truck – I'm driving back, since Jazz drove up here. He grabs my hand again in the truck and gives me a sweet kiss. "I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. So much."

"I love you too, Jasper Dean Whitlock. More than you know." With that, the stereo is cranked up, the truck is put into 'drive' and we're off. Back to Seattle and the airport, back to sending off the love of my life to San Diego. Back to him flying a deathtrap.

My stomach is in knots at the thought, which is completely silly. I am also on the brink of tears, because of the pending separation. I just got him! Will I really have to live without him already? It seems so unfair. My eyes are beginning to well up with tears, and I sniffle a bit.

"What's wrong, Darlin'? Why are you crying? Did I do something to upset you?" Jasper is all concern and care now, gripping my hand and caressing it with his thumb. "Talk to me, please… I can't stand to see you cry!"

"It's just – you're leaving already! I just got you, and now you're going away again. I can't be without you, I just can't! It breaks my heart to be apart from you." I whimper pathetically, tears streaming down my cheeks. I have a hard time seeing anything and Jasper notices right away. "Pull the car over, Darlin' – you can't drive like this, it's not safe."

I pull the car over at the side of the road and turn off the engine. I am full on sobbing by now, a complete mess of snot and tears. "C'mere, baby. Hush now, it's gonna be alright. I love you and I'll write and call and text – we'll see each other soon, I promise!" Jasper pulls me to his chest and strokes my hair, nuzzling his face in the hair on the top of my head. "Shhhh.. Calm down, Darlin', calm down." He is so gentle and loving; a whole new side of Jasper I've never seen before. He's always been my protector, but the tenderness he shows now is at a whole new level. It just makes me sob even harder, because I'm going to miss this so much – this new Jasper that's just for me.

Eventually, I quiet down some, but I'm still not in a condition to drive. Jasper suggests that we switch places so I can recover a little while he drives. He's so full of concern and I can tell that my breakdown weighs heavily on him. He tries to lighten the mood by singing silly songs for me, belting out the lyrics to Bon Jovi's 'wanted – dead or alive' when it comes on the stereo.

"I'm a cowboy! On a steel horse I ride. And I'm wanted. Dead or alive!" He's screaming from the top of his lungs, his expression so serious that I can't help but crack up laughing. His entire face lights up, his eyes begin to shine and his dimples come out at the sound of my laughter. I join him in the next line, wailing "I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side. I'm wanted dead or alive. And I ride, dead or alive. I still drive, dead or alive. Dead or alive." We both crack up after the song is finished; I laugh so hard that I get a side stitch from it. Now I'm wiping away tears of laughter instead.

We quiet down a little after that, both of us lost in thought. What a roller coaster of emotion this weekend has been. From anticipation to fear, from fear to pure joy, from joy to lust, from lust to anxiety, from anxiety to sorrow and from sorrow to mirth. But underneath it all is love. I look at my Jasper at that thought – how fitting it is. I've loved him for as long as I can remember. I've been IN love with him for seven years. Now we share that love, and I haven't got a doubt in my mind that we'll make it through this. It's just so hard to think about our separation.

-LFAFL-

As we reach Seattle and begin to maneuver through to the airport, I begin to feel upset again. I try my best to be brave. I don't want to have another breakdown in front of Jasper – I don't want to send him away with that image of me as the last with him. I want him to think of me as his smiling, loving girlfriend, not as a crying baby. My smile is a bit watery though and Jasper is somber and quiet while he takes his duffle and the case with Annabelle from the luggage compartment. He sets both of them down on the sidewalk and grips my upper arms.

"I don't want you to come in with me. I think we should say our goodbye here, not in front of a lot of people." I know why he's doing this. First of all, he's not a big fan of PDA either and I'm sure he wants to kiss me properly goodbye. Secondly, he's trying to prevent me from having a public breakdown – and maybe himself too. He thinks its best that I can sit for a while in the car and recoup before driving. He's right – I want to avoid the scene too, and I know it's inevitable that I will bawl my eyes out once he leaves.

"Okay. Let me just... I'll call Angela up – she's already home; her flight was this morning. I'll have her on standby, so I can talk to her when you've left." I know, I HAVE to have a life-line ready, or I will lose it completely. "Good plan - where's your phone?" he asks and I show it to him. "Let me talk to her first – I want to make sure that she's gonna take care of my girl." I smile at him at this – he's so adorable in his protection of me.

"Hello, Angela? Yeah, it's me, Jasper. Listen, could you hang on while I say goodbye to Bella? She's going to need a friend now, and I was hoping you'd be there for her."

"No, that's alright- I'll just put you on hold. Mmm hmmm.. Yeah, I'm happy too! I love her, Ang, so much!"

"Thanks – hold on, okay? Take care!" He clicks the call on hold and lay my phone on the driver's seat without closing the door. Looking deeply into my eyes, he grabs my chin. I get lost in the swirls of dark green with little yellow specks and a darker rim at the edges. His eyes are so beautiful, like a cat's, attentive, all-knowing, sweet and occasionally predatory. They bore into my brown ones, in this moment conveying all of his emotions; sadness, love, adoration, concern. I feel it in the pit of my belly and the tip of my toes. He looks at me like no other man ever have; like I'm his whole world. The corner of his mouth comes up in a crooked half-smile.

"I love you more than anything, Bella. You keep me coming back for more, ALWAYS. Remember that. No matter what happens, I love you." He bends down and kisses me with so much emotion that I start to cry at it. His lips move with mine and his tongue traces the outline of my mouth. He presses gently to make me open my mouth and I willingly comply, savoring his taste and the slightly rough, velvety sensation of his tongue on mine. Dancing, massaging, feeling. His hands stay put, one cradles my chin and one grips my waist, holding my body close to his. I feel the warmth of his body engulf me, his cedar and hay scent invades my senses and I'm lost in all that is Jasper.

Too soon he ends the kiss, hugs me and kisses the top of my head. "Goodbye, Darlin'. Angela's waiting and I'll text you as soon as I land. I love you. Drive safely." With one final squeeze, he releases me and he's gone. I reach out for my phone – I can hardly see the keys through my tears and I'm grateful that he already has her on the line so I don't have to search for her number. I throw myself in the seat and slam the door shut, before clicking her call back on.

I don't even say anything; I just sob and wail down the microphone. Angie gets it though. Her separation from Ben was also very painful, and I was the one to hold her all the way home from the airport when he left for college. She knows exactly how I feel right now and it's such a relief that I don't have to explain anything. I can just sit there, crying and listening to her soothing voice and reassuring words.

"He loves you more than anything, you know that? I'd never have thought that I should see Jazz with that look in his eyes. When he looks at you, the rest of the world disappear for him, sweetie. Don't worry, you'll see him soon. He'll come back to you, no matter what. If he had to crawl all the way to see you, he would. He loves you, Girlie. He loves you." Her voice over the phone calms down enough to stop crying hysterically. Now it's just a small trickle of tears and hiccups. She keeps up her pep-talk, until I'm coherent enough to answer her.

"Thanks, Ang. I love you. I couldn't have made it without you."

"No problem, sweets. Just repaying the favor." I can hear the smile in her voice at this; she's my sister from another mister, for sure. "I remember how hard it was for me and Ben – and yours is a new love, which makes everything more daunting and up in the air."

"Okay, I'm gonna put you on Bluetooth now, so I can talk and drive. Hang on." I say, wanting to come home to my bed and my hopefully quiet dorm-room. I just want to lay there and wallow, and wait for Jazz to text me. And mentally relive the entire weekend. "Sure, I'll hold. Again!" She says with a chuckle.

We speak the entire way home, and I let her in on some of the details of our weekend – probably a little TMI, but Ang is the source of all of my boy-knowledge, her having reported everything to me over her years with Ben, so now she'll have to endure! She takes it in stride though – she is just so happy for us.

When I reach my room, I change into pajamas and settle under the covers with my phone. I have just started to relax, when it pings with a new text. From Edward, sadly. No, he's a great friend – I owe him a summary of my weekend!

_**Hey Chica! How did it go? Did you score Prince Charming? –E**_

_I did, actually. Or, he scored me. YAY! – B_

_**Good for you! Told ya – I could see it right away. That guy is head over heels for you, sweetie. – E**_

_He told me too :-) K, gonna go now – waiting for his text. TTYL? – B_

_**Sure thing – I want a full report tomorrow. XOXO – E**_

_Thx. XOXO – B_

My eyelids had almost closed completely and I felt somewhere between awake and asleep, when my ping woke me up again. This time the text was from Jasper, finally!

_Hey Darlin'. Just touched down in SAN. Hope you're alright. I love you. Your JDW._

Hi Jazz. Yup, Ang got me thru. Love u 2. Almost asleep. TTYL? Your B

_Sure, sweets. Just checking ;-) Sleep tight. Kisses JDW_

Night. Kisses – your B

_;-) JDW_

With a final image of Jasper's eyes as he looked at me at the airport, I fall asleep. Content in the knowledge that I got my man – and that underneath it all is love.

**Please review? Please? I really want to know your thoughts!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_To: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Nothing but Love_

_Date: September 29, 2010, 23:45 PM_

_My Darlin' Bella,_

_I can't even begin to tell you how much this weekend meant to me. To find out that the love I feel is not a singular entity, but something we share – it was mind-blowing. I am so in love with you, and I can't ever let you go. You are my world, Bella._

_I don't think, I've ever tried anything worse than walking away from you in the airport earlier this evening, knowing that you would be so heart-broken, and not being able to do a thing about it – and on top of that, I was just as upset, I just couldn't show it! I had to be strong for you, plus I had to endure a 1½ hour plane ride with total strangers, when all I really wanted to do was curl up and cry my fucking eyes out. Hell. I'm sure that the person sitting next to me thought I was a genuine nutcase, the way I kept shaking my head and wiping my eyes!_

_You took me quite with surprise too, this weekend. The bold way you kissed me in the restaurant; the exploration we did? I never suspected you to be so – ehrm – adventurous… I loved it, don't get me wrong! Actually, I'm sitting here on my bed with nothin' but boxers on and, should we say, quite the predicament? Luckily, Riley and Marcus are asleep, or they would get more than an eyeful, I tell ya! Goddammit, there's too little privacy here, or else my arm muscles would get some work out, while I was thinking about this morning's activities. I can't wait to be with you again – not just because of our physical intimacy, but our emotional as well. I've never felt more connected or at ease with anyone! You get me, Bella – you really get me._

_I was thinking – could you make it down here for a trip soon? I have the weekends off, but Saturday/Sunday isn't time enough, I think, if I have to spend half of it travelling. If you could fly out on a Friday night and skip classes on a Monday, we'd have a whole weekend together. I would book us a hotel room off base that we'd share. What do you think? I need to see you again, and soon, or else I'll drive myself nuts! Ah, listen to me – the bad boyfriend, encouraging you to skip class! LOL. I know you, and I know you've got the stuff down – I'm sure you've read your entire curriculum already – probably already did in high school! My little book-worm; I love that about you. You're so fucking smart._

_Anyway, could you make it? I'll hit Momma and Pa up for the plane tickets – they got out of paying tuition for me anyway, so don't feel bad about that, ya hear? Momma would love to know that she had a finger in on her favorite babies developing their relationship! Besides, the old man is loaded – he can afford it._

_This way, we get to spend the weekend together; just you and I, without any relatives, friends or unwanted interruptions – if you don't count Marcus and Riley, but I won't subject you to their torture for too long. How about it, Sugar? Will you come? I hope so. I really, really hope so._

_Okay, I'm getting tired, so I'll just finish by asking you to say hi to Edward for me – he's a good guy, I can tell, and I'm happy you've gotten yourself a good friend up there. Just keep your distance! No hanky panky! LOL. Naw, it's okay, I trust you with my life and my heart – I know you to well to think that about you. Say hi to Beck too – she's a hoot, ain't she? I hope to get to know the both of them better, next time I come up there._

_Music for tonight; Nickelback, Far Away. ('Cause that's how it is right now, unfortunately. Damn.)_

_All my love,_

_Your Jazz._

_To: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Re: Nothin' but Love_

_Date: September 30, 2010, 7:07 AM_

_My Love,_

_Thank you so much for the e-mail. I slept like shit, waking up every five minutes because I miss you so much and I kept dreaming that you'd never come back! It was horrible… I wish I'd thought to check my e-mail then, instead of waiting till now, but it was a nice way to wake up, at least! _

_Your song choice was perfect. It said it perfectly for me too – how far away, but still, I'll never, ever let you go! Never! I love you so much; I can't even find the words to tell you. I had the best weekend of my life with you. I still can't wrap my head around us being together. That you feel the same for me, as I have done for you for so long. You're right; it is, in lack of a better word, mind-blowing. And I am so eternally grateful that you had the courage to do something about it, when I didn't. I got you! And you're stuck with me now, Buddy!_

_As for coming to San Diego for a weekend – I would love to! I thought you'd never ask ;-) And it's not a problem for me to take a Monday off – I'm plenty ahead as you guessed, and I only have one class on Mondays, so I won't miss a lot. How does October 15-18 sound? I can't wait any longer than that, I'm sure! I'll explode and leave the dorm room a mess, if I don't see you again soon. _

_Adventurous, you call me? Hmm… How about, crazy in love and crazy with lust? You turn me on so badly, Jazz; I have a hard time to stop drooling when I'm near you. You still owe me a picture of you in uniform! I NEED that picture! For watching before I …. Go to sleep at night? *Arhm*You know what I mean. _

_A shame I wasn't there to help you with that rather large underwear problem – whatever made that predicament, I wonder? It wasn't the thought my itty-bitty pink tongue, was it? Nothing interesting about that – maybe it was my lips? Nah, they're not even the same size! The bottom one is bigger than the top one, so they can't be particularly appealing… Oh well. I'll be sure to investigate your anatomy some more in the upcoming weekend. We can't have you running around with big bulges in your underwear, now can we. Better find the cause of the problem, fast._

_I so look forward to meeting your friends! If they're as much fun as you've described them, I'm sure I'll be in for a laugh or two. I just hope they don't play any pranks on us! I don't want to spend the weekend icing a sprained ankle or something. I just want to enjoy undisturbed time with you. As much as possible of it, please._

_I'll make sure to say hi for you. They are both good people – Beck is the funny, girly girl that gets me out of my funk and Edward is my serious study partner that I can confide in – you won't believe the whining I've subjected him to, while pining for you! I wonder why he hasn't run for the hills yet. His girlfriend is really nice too and their situation was like ours – they had loved each other for a long time, they just didn't have the nerve to admit it. If you hadn't done anything this weekend, I would, thanks to him pushing me. And I thank you so much for your trust; I know it can be difficult to see the possibility of platonic friendships between sexes, but I assure you, your trust is not misplaced. I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship!_

_I'm gonna run to get ready now and get to class. Please let me know, if the dates fit with your plans. I miss you so much it hurts, and I can't wait to see you! I love you, I love you, I love you!_

_Yours forever,_

_Bella._

_To: The_Org_BS(at)gmail com_

_From: The_Whit_Man(at)gmail com_

_Subject: Re:Re: Nothing but Love_

_Date: September 30, 2010, 20:55 PM_

_Beloved Bella,_

_Thanks for your e-mail. I am so happy to hear that you like the idea of a weekend down here! I'm psyched to show you around and to just spend time with you. I miss you so much that it hurts in my chest. Of course the dates fit me – my weekends consist of drinking beers, playing video games and making music. I'm sure I can rearrange those important plans to another time. Or maybe combine them? Except for the video-games, I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate a weekend of 'Halo'. But you might surprise me; you have a tendency to do that!_

_Aw, hell, woman! What are you doing to me? I'm sitting with a figurative underwear explosion here! (Not literally, hell – haven't done that since I was 13 and saw your tits for the first time, when you showered. Ooops, shouldn't have told you that!) Anyway, the guys are here, and yes, they noticed. Now I'm getting hell for it too. Evil woman. I sincerely hope that you plan to help me with the problem when you come down here. I promise to return the favor; it's not like it's a hardship to investigate and taste-sample that sweet little pussy of yours anyway ;-) And now I'm getting an even bigger problem downstairs. Soon I'll have to take matters into my own hands. Is it showering time yet?_

_I'll make sure to have one of the guys take my picture, so I can send it to you! I want a full report of what your 'going to sleep' entails. I can't wait to get my fingers and tongue buried in your sweetness again. I'll just have to imagine what your fingers are doing while you look at my picture. I'd rather have you do it to me though. Ung, there's a long time to mid-October! Too long._

_Anyways, I love you and I miss you. And now, I'll hit the showers. Alone. With images of you in my head. Take that! And use the visuals as you please. And let me know how, exactly, you did that. Please? ;-)_

_I love you, Sweets, and await your itinerary with impatience._

_For tonight, I found Guns n Roses, Patience. I think it is very fitting since we both need to practice some of that for now._

_All my love,_

_Your Jazz._


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello my lovelies! I hope you haven't been too impatient for this update - I know it's later than usual. In my defense, I can say that I've been away for business without any writing time at all - and this is actually brought to you from Madrid-Barajas airport, where I sat and waited for a flight for 6 freaking hours yesterday!**

**Thus, it is unbetaed - any and all errors are mine alone. That doesn't mean that I love my girls any less mind you! Bewiched and jmj3 - I HEART YOU!**

**And - say hello to Ben Graupner from the 100 Monkeys - he has a little cameo in this one :D I love him - he's so adorable!**

**I don't own- SM does. I just let her characters mix up and do weird and naughty stuff.**

Chapter 14

"AAARGH! Why does time have to move so freaking slowly?" I scream out in the privacy of my room. I am going out of my mind here… I really, really need to see my man now. Why does he have to be so far away from me? Why can't I just call him, even? This air force business is beginning to get to me – how will I survive the next years, while he is training and finishing his contract? I will be insane by then… With a sigh, I plop down on my bed and open my laptop, just to re-read his latest email. It seems that's all I'm doing at the moment. Pining for, texting, calling and reading emails from the one person that matters most to me. I have to get out of this funk – I can't have my whole life on hold in between seeing him, 'cause it will be years before we can have a life together. Dammit.

I'm interrupted in my musings by Beck, slamming the door open and looking positively wild. "Bella, hurry, you've got to come with me! I need your help! NOW!" Oh shit, she sounds like the apocalypse is coming – wonder what happened?

"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses, woman! What has you all in a tizzy?"

"You've got to see this guy – he is soooooo adorable. And he just asked me out! I don't know what to do – seriously, he can rival both Jasper and Edward in the looks department, and he is sooo sweet! I can't blow this – I can't!" She's pacing around the room, pulling and wringing her fingers, looking adorably frenzied.

"Okay, okay, when are you going out? What's his name? And what do you want me to do? You know I'm no fashionista, by any means." I try to calm her a little – her pacing is stressing me out, like I needed any more stress!

"His name is Benji and he is so yummy! He's at least 6'6'', light brown hair, gorgeous green eyes – they're almost hazel actually, slim build and he's a drama major. I am in serious 'like' with him, Bella – seriously! He's not just another notch on my bedpost, I tell ya. He could actually be 'the one'!" She's got a wild look in her eyes and grabs my shoulders, yanking me back and forth. I have a hard time not to burst out laughing at her – she looks absolutely insane right now, it's so funny!

"Yeah alright – I believe you! What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to help me pick an outfit and get primped! I know it's not your usual forte, but considering that you landed not just one, but TWO of the hottest guys walking this green earth, I guess you have something going for you! And Benji is not the typical frat boy who's looking for any piece of ass – he's much deeper than that. And I need to radiate 'deep' too. He's picking me up at 6 for a movie and dinner." She is looking at me with a real puppy dog expression, pout in full effect. I'm a sucker for that; it gets me every time.

"Uh, alright, let's take a look then." I may not be a fashionista by any means, nor do I care particularly for neither hair do's or make-up, but I know what looks good on people and I can do the basics. With that, we start to work on Beck's closet and I send her to shower.

After two hours of tweezing, talking, swooning, picking, plucking and painting, she looks naturally beautiful – her dark hair is curling down her back, her dark blue eyes are framed by golden shimmery makeup and black lashes and she is dressed in skinny jeans, brown equestrian boots and a satin emerald green top. We finish off the outfit with some thin gold bangles, dangly gold earrings and a long gold necklace. She looks amazing; down to earth, yet dressy enough for any student-budget kind of restaurant. If he doesn't want her after this, he doesn't deserve her and I tell her exactly that.

"Oh Bella, thank you so much. It really means a lot to me! I can't wait for you to meet him. But hand's off!" She says with a wink and a laugh to let me know that she's kidding. Just as she says that, there's a timid knock on the door and I go to answer it. I've got to be her wing woman, and besides, I'm curious over the guy that has her all riled up.

As I open the door, I have to crane my neck back to see his face, he's so tall! I'm met with a pair of warm, smiling eyes, the broadest grin I've ever seen, white teeth and a sharp jawline. He has a prominent Adams apple. His hair is almost as messy as Edwards but a little longer, making it fall into his eyes and giving him a boyish appearance, though I can tell he has to be in his mid-twenties. "Hello, I'm here to pick up Beck," he says, "You must be Bella?" his voice is deep and husky, and very, very sexy. I can see why Beck is so taken with him. He's a looker, but his eyes radiate sincerity and warmth; he's also oozing sex without coming off as a man-whore.

"Yeah, that's me – come on in, she's ready." I open the door wider to let him in, and he pulls a bouquet of dark blue violets from behind his back – oooh, he's good; blue violets means that he is always true in love. And besides, they're beautiful and not too cliché. He walks in – more like takes one step and lands in the middle of the room, his legs are that long – and greets Beck with a kiss on the cheek, handing her the flowers. "For you, beautiful, they reminded me of your eyes." He looks deeply in her eyes, oblivious to anything else. She blushes – actually blushes! I've never seen Beck do that before - and accept them with a kiss to his cheek as well.

"Ready to head out?" he asks her, giving her his arm. She nods and accepts. "Bella, will you put these in water for me?" she asks as they leave, handing me the flowers. "Of course – have a great night!" I call after them; glad for Beck, since he seems like a good guy and she deserves that. I can't wait to hear how their night went later.

I settle down on my bed again and start to surf travel websites so I can find the best possible tickets for my trip and send an itinerary to Jasper – I know his parents will gladly pay for it, but I'm not having that! I can pay my own tickets – my mom's husband has plenty of money and they send me an allowance every month as their contribution together with the truck they gave me. I quickly find the perfect tickets, allowing me to be in San Diego by 5 pm Friday and home at 8 am Monday, leaving us a full weekend together – every possible minute that Jasper's off duty. After I've got my e-tickets, I send the itinerary to Jasper and call him to let him know when I'll be arriving.

"Hello" His slightly husky voice sounds in my ear.

"Hi baby, it's me – are you off duty?"

"Hey sweetheart! Yeah, just got back to the barracks. I'm so glad to hear from you – did you get tickets?" I can literally hear the smile he has on his face now, and his voice went up half an octave.

"Yeah, that's why I'm calling – besides from needing to hear your voice. I just ordered and I will land at 4.50 pm on Friday – I'll have to leave at 8 am Monday morning, but I guess your back on duty by then?"

"Yeah, I have to be at the base at 7 am, so I'll swing by the airport first and drop you off. That leaves us an entire weekend together! Can't fuckin' wait to see you, Love… I have great plans for us." His voice turns lower and slightly huskier now, like it does when he's turned on. Images from our weekend flashes through my mind and I can feel myself getting hot in the cheeks.

"Oh yeah? Wanna tell me about those plans?" I can't help but softly grab my left tit while lying back on the bed. His voice is doing dangerous things to my system. "Anything like last weekend, perhaps?" getting bolder, I ask: "How about that underwear problem – is that still an issue we have to look at?" I might as well take the opportunity now that Beck is out and I have some privacy. And phone-sex? It might really be fun! At least a lot more fun than doing it all alone…

"Oh, baby – you bet I have an underwear problem! A rather large and prominent problem that needs a proper rub down. What are you doing to me, baby?" His voice has really dropped now and I can hear a slight tremble in it – he's already on the brink of control. "What are you doing right now, Darlin'? I can hear you're breathing harder…"

"Well, I'm lying on my bed, all alone – Beck is out on a date – and I'm touching my left tit… What about you?" I answer, rolling my nipple between my thumb and index finger. I let out an involuntary little moan at that.

"Oh My GOD, baby – I can hear how you're enjoying yourself. I wish I was there to take care of your sweet tits for you. And other parts as well." His voice is breaking on the last part and he groans – I can hear shuffling noises, like fabric shifting. "And as to what I am doing; I am holding my most treasured body part, trying to relieve his pain after being stuck inside my fatigues while growing hard."

"Tell me what to do to myself, Jasper. Tell me how and where you want me to touch." I breathe into the phone, turned on beyond belief over the images of him in uniform and with his hard cock in his hand. My panties are getting drenched by the mere thought.

"Ungh, baby! Take off your top and bra, and caress your tits for me – imagine it were my hands kneading them. I've got my dick out now, just sliding my hand loosely over it, imagining it to be your small fingers around it." He groans out, clearly affected by our little dirty conversation. I do as he asks and knead my breasts, trying to picture it being his hands – it's good, but not quite right. My hands are much smaller and softer than his. However, the noises coming through the phone are quite the turn on.

"It feels so good, Jasper – I need more." I am moaning into the receiver, getting lost in his sounds and the sensations in my breasts.

"Pinch the nipples baby, make your fingers wet and circle them – imagine it's my mouth and the pinch is me biting them slightly. Oh my god, this is so hot!" He is panting now and I can sense that his hand is moving faster and faster over his cock. I do as he says and a loud moan erupts from me, making him moan as well. I yank open my jeans and quickly shove them down my legs.

"Baby, I'm gonna touch my pussy now – tell me how…" I can't wait – I can hear him getting closer to his release and I want to cum with him. I am on the brink already, just from his words and the fondling of my breasts.

"Oh shit, I'm gonna cum soon – touch your clit baby and if you can, plunge a couple of fingers inside. Curl them upwards and use your thumb on your clit. I wish I could taste you, baby… You taste so delicious baby – I can almost imagine it… Like honey and woman and sex – I love your taste. Cum for me baby – let me hear you scream my name. I'm gonna cum with you. Just let it go, baby." His husky voice gets me over the brink and I scream out as the orgasm ripples through me, making my pussy clench violently around my fingers.

I can hear him too – the most sexy sounding grunts and groans and a 'Bella!' thrown in between. Soon only the sound of our heavy breathing travels the phone lines as we lay and listen to each other calming down. "Oh sweet heavens, Bella! That was awesome! I didn't know you had it in you, you little vixen…" He chuckles while trying to catch his breath.

"Me neither, Jazz – me neither… What can I say; you bring out the worst and the best in me." I can feel the happy, lazy smile stretching across my face as I lay there, fully sated and blissed out.

"The best – definitely the best, Baby. I love you more than words can say – you're the whole package; beautiful, intelligent, sweet and naughty. You're the girl of my dreams. I can't ever let you go. I love you so much." His quiet, sincere confession brings tears in my eyes and I'm so happy it'll only be a week before I see him again. My Jasper – my love – my everything.

"I love you too, Jazz – I can't begin to tell you how much. I love how sweet you are underneath your tough-guy attitude; I love your intelligence, your sexiness, your personality. You're it for me – I've never loved anyone else, and I'm never going to. I spent too long waiting for you to ever let you go. I can't wait till Friday. I need to touch you again." I am sobbing a bit now, a delightful mess of happy and sad tears.

"Don't cry, Baby – you know tears are like my kryptonite – I just wanna hold you in my arms and never let you go. Soon, my love, soon." His reassuring and comforting words make me toughen up and wipe away the tears.

"Okay, I'm gonna hang up now, before I become even more of a mess – I love you – sleep well!" I say and make kissing noises.

"Love you too, Darlin' – sleep tight, and we can talk again tomorrow. I'm going to the beach with the guys to catch some waves, but I'll bring my phone and we can text - how about if I call you when we're done with surfing?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Hanging up now. Talk to you later." With that I hang up the phone, not wanting to get into a game of 'I'll hang up, no you hang up' with him now. I'm emotionally drained after these couple of weeks and I know I'll break down completely if I didn't. The little phone-sex dirty talk session helped though – I'm not as high strung anymore, and just talking to him eased the longing remotely.

I changed into my pajamas – a very unsexy, but very comfortable, dark blue flannel set with stars and moons on it – and my thick chenille socks, settling on the bed with my laptop to answer emails from friends and my parents. And not least to wait for Beck and Benji to return.

I wake up with a start at the sound of a key in the door and Beck's giggling. I must have fallen asleep on my computer, because my forehead has distinct marks from the keyboard and the email I was writing has a whole page of feoierlkxc,ksdjfhgd on it. Quickly, I wipe the drool off my chin, before they come in – there's nothing as unattractive as sleep-drooling. The door bursts open and Beck comes almost flying in, dragging Benji by his hand – she's smiling so broadly that I'm afraid her face will split and so is he. They look so happy. They look like me and Jasper. I guess this turned out great for Beck, at least so far – there's no doubt that they're two people in love!

"Oh hi, Bella! Did we wake you? I'm sorry – we didn't mean to bother you." Beck says with her radiant smile and a high pitch to her voice.

"It's okay – I must have fallen asleep on the computer. At least there's some mysterious writing on the screen that I don't remember typing!" I say with a laugh, "did you guys have fun?"

"Now you say it, I'm sure I can make out some backwards letters in your sleep creases!" Benji points out a few square markings on my face with his broad, happy smile lighting up his face. He is the kind of guy that can make anybody in a good mood – he is infectious. I bet Jazz and he would get along great – also with them being musicians and all. "And yes, I enjoyed the company of this lovely little lady tremendously." He says, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles while looking deeply into her eyes. Aaaaw, they are so freaking cute together! I am so happy for them and after this wonderful night with a wonderful phone call, I am freakishly content. The only thing missing is the arms of my man – and that's only a week away. I can survive that! Six more nights, and I'll be on that plane for San Diego, on my way to the man of my dreams.

Benji tells me goodnight and drags Beck outside the door – I'm sure for a proper good night kiss without an audience – and I turn my computer off and settle under the covers properly. After a few moments, she comes in and jumps on my bed, effectively straddling me. She bounces up and down and let out a gigantic squeal. "Bella, he's fucking perfect! I really, really like him! I think he might be the one, Bella! He is sooooo sweet and the perfect gentleman – except when it's time to not be a gentleman, if you know what I mean?" the last part she finishes with a wink. I know perfectly what she means – he sounds like a really good guy; a guy in the same category as Jasper and Edward.

"Oh, Beck, I'm so happy for you! You deserve it more than anyone – and he seemed like a good guy to me too. I won't ask if you had a good time, that much is obvious, but what did you do? Where did you go? Let me have all the details." Beck climbs off me and starts to pull off her clothes and change into her pajamas, while re-telling the night's events. She continues to yammer away while settling in her own bed and her excited voice lulls me off to sleep. I sleep happily, knowing that the people I care about are happy too.

**REVIEW! Let me know what you think, and assure me that you're still here!**


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